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Her Neighbor's Wife

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At first glance, Barbara Kalish fit the stereotype of a 1950s wife and mother. Married at eighteen, Barbara lived with her husband and two daughters in a California suburb, where she was president ...
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  • 20 September 2022
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At first glance, Barbara Kalish fit the stereotype of a 1950s wife and mother. Married at eighteen, Barbara lived with her husband and two daughters in a California suburb, where she was president of the Parent-Teacher Association. At a PTA training conference in San Francisco, Barbara met Pearl, another PTA president who also had two children and happened to live only a few blocks away from her. To Barbara, Pearl was "the most gorgeous woman in the world," and the two began an affair that lasted over a decade.

Through interviews, diaries, memoirs, and letters, Her Neighbor's Wife traces the stories of hundreds of women, like Barbara Kalish, who struggled to balance marriage and same-sex desire in the postwar United States. In doing so, Lauren Jae Gutterman draws our attention away from the postwar landscape of urban gay bars and into the homes of married women, who tended to engage in affairs with wives and mothers they met in the context of their daily lives: through work, at church, or in their neighborhoods.

In the late 1960s and 1970s, the lesbian feminist movement and the no-fault divorce revolution transformed the lives of wives who desired women. Women could now choose to divorce their husbands in order to lead openly lesbian or bisexual lives; increasingly, however, these women were confronted by hostile state discrimination, typically in legal battles over child custody. Well into the 1980s, many women remained ambivalent about divorce and resistant to labeling themselves as lesbian, therefore complicating a simple interpretation of their lives and relationship choices. By revealing the extent to which marriage has historically permitted space for wives' relationships with other women, Her Neighbor's Wife calls into question the presumed straightness of traditional American marriage.

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Price: $26.50
Pages: 328
Publisher: University of Pennsylvania Press, Inc.
Imprint: University of Pennsylvania Press
Series: Politics and Culture in Modern America
Publication Date: 20 September 2022
Trim Size: 9.00 X 6.00 in
ISBN: 9781512823691
Format: Paperback
BISACs: HISTORY / United States / 20th Century, History of the Americas, SOCIAL SCIENCE / LGBTQ+ Studies / Lesbian Studies
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"The strength of the book is Gutterman’s investment in reviewing and utilizing the personal letters that many women wrote to advocates...The correspondence and other sources that she examines also help her share stories from Black and Latina women who loved women, with some inclusion of Asian and Native American women as well, thus broadening the voices and experiences missing from white-focused lesbian narratives…[A] well-documented cultural history that reminds us just how deeply the 1970 feminist slogan ‘the personal is political’ reflected many women’s struggles to live their lives honestly and openly regarding their same-sex desires."
Lauren Jae Gutterman is Associate Professor of American studies at the University of Texas at Austin.