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We like to think that we make decisions rationally. We know what we want, and we make choices about how to achieve our goals. That’s the whole basis of traditional coaching.
But the truth is more complicated: our decisions that shape our future selves and are guided by hidden narratives, unconscious influences, gender dynamics and unchallenged assumptions. It’s no wonder we so often feel stuck.
STOP is an inner‑first coaching model for people who want to make choices aligned with who they are and who they want to be. It’s a correction to the common assumption that we start with a goal and then explore the path to achieve it. If we’re to escape stuckness or repeating patterns without understanding why, we first need to STOP: to surface what’s invisible, reclaim our agency, and make decisions that align with our identity.
Claire Rason is a graduate of Cambridge University and Henley Business School (Coaching and Behavioural Change). She has held a number of senior roles in the legal sector and now runs her own professional development consultancy. She brings a unique combination of professional expertise, lived experience and research to the topic of decision-making.
An executive coach since 2019, Claire is an accredited Senior Practitioner with the European Mentoring and Coaching Counsel. She has worked with many clients to navigate complex choices, helping them to uncover and understand the unconscious influences that shape their decisions. Her research, The Class of 2002, showed the impact of unconscious narratives on career progression in the legal sector. Her coaching practice has given her deep insight into the patterns, narratives, and systemic factors that impact critical life and career choices.
Table of Contents
Preface: My Journey Through Identity and Choice
Introduction: Why Big Decisions Are Even Bigger Than We Think
PART I: The Real Story Behind Our Choices
Chapter 1: Gender, Identity, and the Illusion of Choice
Chapter 2: The Hidden Voices Behind Our Choices
Chapter 3: Why Some Coaching Models Don’t Go Deep Enough (including the Limitations of GROW)
PART II: STOP, A Model for Critical Choices
Chapter 4: The Need to STOP
Chapter 5: Silence - Whose Voices Are Shaping Your Choices?
Chapter 6: Tune‑In - What Brought You Here?
Chapter 7: Opportunities - What’s at Stake?
Chapter 8: Perspective - What Has Shifted?
PART III Turning Insight Into Action
Chapter 9 - Moving On
Conclusion - The Identity You Choose
Appendices