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Women now comprise almost half the priests serving in the Church of England. As a result, there are many male clergy spouses who have had to come to terms with the seismic shift that occurs in family life when a wife embarks on the journey from exploration of vocation - through selection, training and formation - to ordination and a life of ministry.
The author had his own busy career when he suddenly found himself playing second fiddle rather than being the 'doer' in the household. Not only did this subtly affect his marriage, but as friends and acquaintances became 'parishioners', he was required to respect boundaries, to be discreet and often to carry the burden of unsought confidentiality.
Drawing on these experiences and those of many fellow clergy spouses, this volume is a practical, informative and engaging guide to the joys and challenges of being married to a vicar. Part one deals with the process from initial call to ordination and beyond. Part two helps clergy husbands work through what their new role might involve. Part three looks at lifestyle and family issues, while Part four offers support and sensible advice if things go wrong.
The journey
1 The process 9
2 Meeting the DDO 15
3 The impact of divorce 19
4 The early days: ordination and beyond 23
The journey: key points 27
Part 2
Clergy husband: whaT does iT mean?
5 Know yourself 31
6 Ordained ministry: an ordinary marriage? 35
7 Ordained ministry: just another job? 36
8 Male? Female? What's the difference? 40
9 Her journey - your journey? 45
10 Does it mean I have to be involved? 48
11 Boundaries and expectations 51
12 Church attendance 56
13 Friendships and relationships 60
Clergy husband: what does it mean? Key points 63
Part 3
lifesTyle issues
14 The home 67
15 Finances 72
16 Telephones, email and social networking 77
17 Quality of life issues 80
Lifestyle issues: key points 83
Part 4
if Things go wrong
18 Sex, adultery and addiction 90
19 Career crises 95
20 Loss of faith 99
21 Discord within the parish 102
22 Opposition to female ordination 106
23 The church hierarchy 109
24 Illness and bereavement 112
If things go wrong: key points 116