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Examines how religious leaders use premarital counseling to influence how we view intimacy
It is well-known that the institution of marriage has changed dramatically in the past few decades. However, very little research has focused on the role of religious institutions in helping couples form and maintain their relationships.
Guiding God’s Marriage offers an examination of Christian marriage preparation programs, exploring their efforts to stabilize the institution of marriage and highlighting the tension between individualism and community in people’s relational lives. Marriage preparation programs offer a useful lens through which to trace shifts in both religious and family institutions because they set out clear and intentional articulations of marriage ideologies and gendered relationship scripts by faith communities. By documenting the changes in content and practices of Christian premarital education along with its advice regarding what makes a good marriage, the book charts the ways that religious communities have been transformed by and have helped to contribute to the individualization of faith and relationships.
Featuring archival research as well as first hand observations of four marriage preparation courses—two Protestant and two Catholic—along with seventy interviews with participating couples and leaders of these and other programs, the book offers a rare view of visions about how to realize a successful and faith-filled relationship. This examination of marriage classes offers key insight into how religious communities have responded to cultural changes in marriage, gender, sexuality, and intimacy.
"What makes a ‘good marriage?’ How do we feel about gender roles? How should we argue and process emotions? For young Christian couples, nailing down those answers is actually far more difficult than you might expect. With a wealth of data, Irby shows us how Evangelical and Catholic premarital couples navigate conflicting messages from the culture, counseling groups, books, and other resources to prepare for challenges on the other side of ‘I do.’ Written with empathy and nuance, this is a book scholars, clergy, counselors, couples, and anyone interested in the changing landscape of Christian marriage will want to pour over."
"The book’s structure is clear and engaging, addressing the historical trajectory of premarital programs, how they have changed over time, and how Catholic and evangelical programs are similar and different... an important, interesting, unique, and valuable contribution to the literature."
"By drawing on a rich combination of ethnographic, archival, and interview data, Irby highlights where these programs overlap and diverge in preparing couples to enter the covenant of marriage and where such programs fit within broader social and political debates about the role of marriage in U.S. society today."
"A timely and insightful ethnographic study that will reshape how scholars and ministers understand Christian premarital counseling... The book reveals both the promise and pitfalls of covenant rhetoric in shaping modern Christian conceptions of marriage. This work contributes to wider conversations in ministry about how religious ideas interact with changing practices and norms around gender, marriage, and women’s roles in society."