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Hard to Get is a powerful and intimate examination of the sex and love lives of the most liberated women in history—twenty-something American women who have had more opportunities, more positive role models, and more information than any previous generation. Drawing from her years of experience as a researcher and a psychotherapist, Leslie C. Bell takes us directly into the lives of young women who struggle to negotiate the complexities of sexual desire and pleasure, and to make sense of their historically unique but contradictory constellation of opportunities and challenges. In candid interviews, Bell’s subjects reveal that, despite having more choices than ever, they face great uncertainty about desire, sexuality, and relationships. Ground-breaking and highly readable, Hard to Get offers fascinating insights into the many ways that sex, love, and satisfying relationships prove surprisingly elusive to these young women as they navigate the new emotional landscape of the 21st century.
Price: $24.95
Pages: 276
Publisher: University of California Press
Imprint: University of California Press
Publication Date:
12 April 2014
Trim Size: 8.25 X 5.50 in
ISBN: 9780520283749
Format: Paperback
"Eerily close to the contradictory feelings you've personally had on the subject, but haven't been able to express."
— Anna Breslaw,
“Finally! A nuanced look at hookup culture. This hookup book is not like the others. . . . Who allowed this nuanced and reasonable treatise about [the millennial] generation to be published? And more important: Why has it taken so goddamned long?”
“Bell hopes to dislodge embedded stereotypes of men as subject and women as object and defuse the fear that our sexuality is dangerous. Her book just might help that happen.”
“Bell emphasises that the problem is not conflict and hurt, which are inevitable parts of living, but rather that the way these young women interpret and learn from their experiences is crucial. This is ultimately an optimistic account, in which Bell's 'Desiring Women' have managed to express their sexual and emotional desires and are shaping new lives that encompass a range of opportunities.”
“Makes a compelling case that young women are both more ambitious—and also more conflicted about relationships—than ever before.”
“Bell’s clear prose and accessible subject matter will appeal to both scholars of women’s studies and young women looking for an explanation of some of the predicaments their generation faces. Though it’s far from being a self-help book, the author does offer some sage advice for young women navigating this brave new world.”
"An accessable and provocative text for encouraging conversation on the psychological consequences of persistent gender inequalities in this so-called post-feminist era."
"Hard to Get will resonate with many, and . . . will intrigue sociologists in this field."
"Timely. . . . Bell provides a nuanced examination of the conflicts 20-something women have in navigating the issues of their professional life versus their personal life."
“Bell hoped to find that young women would have dynamic, confident sex lives—i.e. the opposite of what goes down every week on HBO's Girls—but found a much more complex, difficult, dare we say Lena Dunham-esque situation instead. Here she sheds light on the joy (and confusion) of sex in the post-collegiate years.”
Leslie C. Bell is a sociologist and psychotherapist who specializes in women's development and sexuality. She maintains a private practice in Berkeley, California.
Acknowledgments
1. The Paradox of Sexual Freedom
Part I. The Sexual Woman
2. The New Taboo: Katie
3. The Bad Girl: Jayanthi
4. A Pill to Kill Desire: Claudia
Part II. The Relational Woman
5. The Good Girl: Alicia
6. On Not Having It All: Phoebe
Part III. The Desiring Woman
7. How Does She Do It? Maria and Susan
8. Maybe She’s Born with It: Sophia and Jeanette
9. Conclusion: What’s a Modern Woman to Do?
Appendix I. Splitting
Appendix II. Clinical Interviewing
Appendix III. Demographic Information about Respondents
Notes
References
Index
1. The Paradox of Sexual Freedom
Part I. The Sexual Woman
2. The New Taboo: Katie
3. The Bad Girl: Jayanthi
4. A Pill to Kill Desire: Claudia
Part II. The Relational Woman
5. The Good Girl: Alicia
6. On Not Having It All: Phoebe
Part III. The Desiring Woman
7. How Does She Do It? Maria and Susan
8. Maybe She’s Born with It: Sophia and Jeanette
9. Conclusion: What’s a Modern Woman to Do?
Appendix I. Splitting
Appendix II. Clinical Interviewing
Appendix III. Demographic Information about Respondents
Notes
References
Index