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Help! I Can’t Stop Shitting Snakes

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A body horror novel about the toxic for-profit US medical system and a guy who shits snakes. Adam has been shitting snakes for weeks; a secret he’s kept from his partner, Darby. They’ve been build...
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  • 12 January 2027
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A body horror novel about the toxic for-profit US medical system and a guy who shits snakes.

Adam has been shitting snakes for weeks; a secret he’s kept from his partner, Darby. They’ve been building a life together despite multiple setbacks in having children, and after Darby finds out about the snakes, she is supportive as can be—considering she’s terrified of snakes. The doctors, on the other hand, don’t buy it. They gaslight Adam, telling him he probably just needs to change his diet and exercise.

As his condition worsens, countless doctors tell him there is nothing to worry about, and Darby might be pregnant… So Adam hatches a plan to expel the snakes and prove to his doctors once and for all he is not full of shit—he’s full of snakes.

A Kafka-inspired novel for today’s irreal-era, Help! I Can’t Stop Shitting Snakes is an address to the faults of the medical system and to the sanctity of true love. A gross yet endearing novel equally full of shit as it is of heart.

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Price: $17.95
Pages: 150
Publisher: CLASH Books
Imprint: CLASH Books
Publication Date: 12 January 2027
Trim Size: 7.48 X 4.72 in
ISBN: 9781968043315
Format: Paperback
BISACs: FICTION / Horror / Monsters & Creatures, FICTION / Humorous / Dark Humor, FICTION / Horror / Psychological, FICTION / Political
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"Deliciously depressing and hopeless in the best possible way, Help! I Can't Stop Shitting Snakes ramps mundane horror up to an inconceivable level and is unlike anything else you've ever read." —Michael Boulerice, author of Feeding the Wheel and Inhalation

Michael Bettendorf (he/him) is the multi-genre author of TRVE CVLT (Tenebrous Press 2024) and Midwestern Chrome (Tenebrous Press 2026). His short fiction has appeared in places like The Drabblecast, Cosmic Horror Monthly, and elsewhere. He has too many hobbies and lives in Nebraska.