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A practical and insightful consideration of what it means to be sexual as a trans, queer person from activist Mx. Nillin Lore.
What even is “sexy,” and how do you do it? A tough question for trans and nonbinary queers struggling to find their sexual selves in a landscape rife with misogynistic, transphobic and homophobic ideals and expectations.
In How Do I Sexy? Mx. Nillin Lore provides affirming and helpful direction based on over a decade of their own personal and professional experience as an educator, advocate, support worker and award-winning sex blogger.
You’re invited to do some deep introspection, find a look that feels right and gain insight on sexiness from fellow trans and nonbinary queers. You’ll also find valuable tips on navigating dating sites, finding community, managing rejection with grace and engaging in sexual relationships. Principled and compassionate, Mx. Nillin Lore will help you figure out who you want to be, who you want to be with and how to make it happen—both in the streets and between the sheets.
"How Do I Sexy? is a fantastic read and a book that’s worth keeping on the shelf for reference or revisiting."—Bending the Bookshelf
“How Do I Sexy? isn’t just a good book, it’s a vital and sorely needed one. LGBTQ+ young people are still rarely represented in mainstream sex education. Many of us make it to adulthood with very little knowledge of our bodies, our sexualities, and how to engage intimately with others. This book is like a warm, comforting hug that says ‘hey, you’re lovable—and sexy—exactly as you are!’ It’s both a celebration and an invitation. No matter where you are in your queer, trans or non-binary journey, there will be something in here for you.”—Coffee & Kink
Foreword
Acknowledgements
Chapter One: The Ventura Effect
Chapter Two: What the Hell Even is “Sexy”?
Chapter Three: Coping With Fear, Shame, Guilt, and Insecurity
Chapter Four: Making Your Personal Mantras
Chapter Five: Saying No to Traditional Gender Roles; and Other Harmful Ideals
Chapter Six: Get Your Sexy On
Chapter Seven: Dating, Flirting, and Finding Community
Chapter Eight: Trans Queer Affirming Sex; What It Is and How To Have It
Conclusion
Glossary
Resources
Index