“Judy’s extraordinary new book, Paper Words, describes better than any writing I have ever read the neurological process that occurs for individuals with autism. For any family member or professional who has ever said, ‘I wish I could spend even one hour in this person’s head,’ Judy’s book will offer clarity and insight. She reaches deeply inside herself to articulate with poetry and prose the workings of the ‘inside side’ of her skin as she courageously takes her reader on the journey of her life and discovery of her autism. Candid and fearless, this is a book that every parent, teacher, and person with autism will want to own and refer back to time and again. The world will be a better place for each person who reads it.” – Kate McGinnity, M.S., co-author of Walk Awhile in My Autism; teacher trainer for the Wisconsin; Department of Public Instruction in the area of autism; Teacher of the Year for Autism Society of America

“After years of implementing various interventions for students on the autism spectrum, Paper Words: Discovering and Living with My Autism has helped me further understand the ‘why’ behind the success of the interventions, or lack thereof. Understanding the underlying neurology is a key aspect, helping us understand that, as Judy so eloquently writes, ‘it is just different and that different and minority do not need to be equated with less than.’" – Lisa Ladson, B.A., B.C.A.B.A., friend and colleague, educational and behavioral consultant

“Paper Words gives insight into the many realms of autism that we need to understand better, including differences that may be present in sensory processing, thought integration, and information retrieval. Through her poetry, Judy expresses so much of what many are unable to say for themselves. Her words are truly a gift to anyone who wishes to understand what it is like to live on the autism spectrum.” – Sharon Hammer, M.S., autism and behavioral consultant

“As a parent of someone affected by autism, I have often wished I could see the world from my son’s perspective. This book provides that window. It has helped me understand not only the importance of sensory regulation but also why it takes him longer to access and process information. My relationship with my son has been enriched as a result. This important work reminds those of us who live, work, and love individuals with autism to assume intelligence, slow down to allow the person with autism time to process, accept people for who they are, and relish in the beauty of each person with autism.” – Marilyn Larson, parent

“A sequel to Making Lemonade, in Paper Words, Judy Endow flows freely into ‘autie-biography,’ prose, and poetry. Her writings intrigue, inform, inspire, and invite the reader into Judy’s unique experience of the autism spectrum.” – Donna Williams, author, artist, and autism consultant

FOREWORD...................................................................................................................1
INTRODUCTION............................................................................................................3
CHAPTER ONE: DISCOVERING MY INSIDE WIRING............................................7
The Big Bang Prologue of Starting Over.......................................................................9
The Pastel Stones........................................................................................................17
Shadow Baby .................................................................................................18
Shadow Girl ....................................................................................................19
Shadow Woman..............................................................................................20
The Solid Stones .........................................................................................................21
Stone Islands...................................................................................................23
The Ripple Stones........................................................................................................30
Hearing Intently...............................................................................................33
What Stinks and What Doesn’t......................................................................34
Barometers for Measuring Inside Feelings.................................................................35
Internal Communication Connections........................................................................43
Bridge Pieces: Information Storage..............................................................45
The Gaps: Information Processing...............................................................52
Canoe Transportation: Information Retrieval................................................54
CHAPTER TWO: NOTICING MY DIFFERENCES..................................................67
Inside a Burrito.............................................................................................................71
The Facts of the Matter................................................................................................74
Much of the Time – From Back Then to Just Now....................................................76
People Are for a Purpose.............................................................................................78
The Purpose of People................................................................................................80
About “No”...................................................................................................................82
How Making Things Better Worked Back Then.........................................................84
Writing Scripts Ahead of Time.....................................................................................88
Making New Pictures...................................................................................................91
CHAPTER THREE: IMPACTS OF MY DIFFERENCES.........................................99
People Yardsticks.......................................................................................................101
Friends and Acquaintances.......................................................................................102
viii People Are Not Interchangeable...............................................................................106
How to Be a Non-Alien..............................................................................................112
Getting Along in the World.........................................................................................116
Blue-Gray Fringe........................................................................................................120
Autism’s Jail................................................................................................................122
Whispering Wind........................................................................................................123
Scratched Soul...........................................................................................................128
Shadow Living............................................................................................................129
Taking Inventory.........................................................................................................132
CHAPTER FOUR: LIVING WITH AUTISM............................................................135
World-People Word Amusements.............................................................................140
Dust Bunny Birdies....................................................................................................144
Ballpark Shorthand....................................................................................................147
My Son Wants More Pets..........................................................................................151
No More Room in My Suitcase.................................................................................155
I Am Queen!................................................................................................................159
Fairy Tale Updates......................................................................................................161
CHAPTER FIVE: EMBRACING LIFE AUTISTICLY...............................................163
No Druthers................................................................................................................165
Time, A Precious Commodity....................................................................................179
Words, The Currency of Time....................................................................................172
To Whom It May Concern..........................................................................................174
SHARING OUR WORLDS........................................................................................177
United Living...............................................................................................................178
Scratched Soul Sequel 180