"This is required reading for people in open relationships and should be used as a textbook for every therapist who works with people in polyamorous relationships."—Kathy Labriola, counselor, nurse, and author of The Polyamory Breakup Book

"Gives people a way to understand how they may be recreating old patterns by bringing their own childhood attachment styles into their adult relationships. And even more importantly, it offers concrete skills for how to use this knowledge to create healthier, more satisfying and secure relationship dynamics.”—Max Rivers, author of Loving Conflict: How Conflict Is Really Your Relationship Trying to Go Deeper

“An extremely helpful addition to the literature on consensual nonmonogamy, and the first self-help book to focus on applying attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships. This is gold!”—Dr. Meg-John Barker, author of Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships

“I find Jessica’s work not only highly useful but absolutely essential to building healthy, secure open relationships. What a gift this intelligent, inspired piece of literature is to the broader nonmonogamous community, as well as those about to embark on this brave frontier of multiple loves! I whole-heartedly recommend this book to anyone interested in self-acceptance and self-mastery, as well as their own emotional well-being as they build loving, sustainable, healthy multiple relationships.”—Kitty Chambliss, author of Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy and Secure in an Open Relationship

"Anyone even considering nonmonogamy would benefit from reading Polysecure. Jessica Fern does an excellent job of not only explaining attachment theory and applying it to nonmonogamy but also offering real steps readers can take and skills they can hone to help create the secure, satisfying relationships they want."—JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having

"This is my favorite kind of book. Not only does it dissect the intricacies of interpersonal dynamics into fun charts and lists, but it also provides a helpful how-to for applying this information in your actual relationships, and to every aspect of your own life. I’m suggesting it to all my therapist friends immediately!"—Tikva Wolf, creator of Kimchi Cuddles and author of Ask Me About Polyamory

"Polysecure provides a roadmap for people who want to establish emotionally intimate and securely attached relationships with multiple partners. One of the most important insights is that secure attachment is a product of relationship experiences, rather than relationship structures."—Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of Stories from the Polycule

"Smart, readable, path-setting, and deeply caring. And practical. Jessica Fern presents abundant material that will inform poly-friendly therapists everywhere, and she offers six particular strategies that will help polyfolks and their beloveds to become more ‘polysecure’ in their relationships.”—Lindsay Hayes, Polyamory in the News

"A must-read for polyamorous folks and for therapists with clients who are practicing consensual nonmonogamy. However, I believe that its insights and messages could open doors for people who have, or are hoping to find, a single partner. We all carry unconscious beliefs about what love is and what it can be—and we can all benefit from asking ourselves if those beliefs really are leading us to the love we need.”—Jeremy Adam Smith, Greater Good magazine

“Reading this book has the potential to significantly strengthen the bonds within your monogamous or non-monogamous relationships… I highly recommend it.”—Arijana Palme, Access Therapy

Introduction

PART ONE

Chapter One: An Overview of Attachment Theory

Chapter Two: The Different Dimensions of Attachment

Chapter Three: The Nested Model of Attachment and Trauma

PART TWO

Chapter Four: Consensual Nonmonogamy

Chapter Five: Attachment and Nonmonogamy

Chapter Six: The Importance of Attachment in Consensual Nonmonogamy

PART THREE

Chapter Seven: The Foundations of Being Polysecure in Your Relationships

Chapter Eight: The HEARTS of Being Polysecure

Chapter Nine: The S in HEARTS—Secure Attachment with Self

Chapter Ten: Common Questions and Final Thoughts

Notes

Bibliography

Index