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A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to nonmonogamous relationships.
Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide.
"Polysecure is a must-read for polyamorous folks and for therapists with clients who are practicing consensual non-monogamy. However, I believe that its insights and messages could open doors for people who have, or are hoping to find, a single partner. We all carry unconscious beliefs about what love is and what it can be—and we can all benefit from asking ourselves if those beliefs really are leading us to the love we need." —Jeremy Adam Smith, Greater Good Magazine
“Reading this book has the potential to significantly strengthen the bonds within your monogamous or non-monogamous relationships… I highly recommend it.”—Arijana Palme, Access Therapy
Introduction
PART ONE
Chapter One: An Overview of Attachment Theory
Chapter Two: The Different Dimensions of Attachment
Chapter Three: The Nested Model of Attachment and Trauma
PART TWO
Chapter Four: Consensual Nonmonogamy
Chapter Five: Attachment and Nonmonogamy
Chapter Six: The Importance of Attachment in Consensual Nonmonogamy
PART THREE
Chapter Seven: The Foundations of Being Polysecure in Your Relationships
Chapter Eight: The HEARTS of Being Polysecure
Chapter Nine: The S in HEARTS—Secure Attachment with Self
Chapter Ten: Common Questions and Final Thoughts
Notes
Bibliography
Index