Some error occured while loading the Quick View. Please close the Quick View and try reloading the page.
From the author of the best-selling Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, a next-level guide for people looking to build secure attachment in nonmonogamous relationships.
As polyamory continues to make its way into the mainstream, more and more people are exploring consensual nonmonogamy in the hope of experiencing more love, connection, sex, freedom and support. While for many, the move expands personal horizons, for others, the transition can be challenging, leaving them blindsided and overwhelmed. Beyond the initial transition to nonmonogamy, many struggle with the root issues beneath the symptoms of broken agreements, communication challenges, increased fighting and persistent jealousy.
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley share the insights they have gained through thousands of hours working with clients in consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Using a grounded theory approach, they explore the underlying challenges that nonmonogamous individuals and partners can experience after their first steps, offering practical strategies for transforming them into opportunities for new levels of clarity and intimacy.
Polywise provides both the conceptual framework to better understand the shift from monogamy to nonmonogamy and the tools to navigate the next steps.
"A must-read for anyone navigating open relationships."—Esther Perel, psychotherapist and New York Times-bestselling author of The State of Affairs and Mating in Captivity
“Required reading and a must-have for your poly bookshelf!”—Kathy Labriola, author of The Polyamory Breakup Book
“The practical and the theoretical are integrated seamlessly in this book, just like in real life. Many of us will be visiting the wisdom of Polywise over and over again as our relationships grow and change, like the living things they are."—Carrie Jenkins, author of What Love Is (and What it Could Be)
"There are so many useful tools, concepts, exercises, and prompts for personal inquiry that anyone who reads it can walk away with something they can apply to level up their nonmonogamous journey... I often say there's being polyamorous and then there's being polyamorous well. I believe Polywise can equip you to do just that."—Evita "Lavitaloca" Sawyers, author of A Polyamory Devotional
“Moves past the polyamory 101 manual into graduate-level territory. It’s an exceptional achievement that will be required reading for anyone practicing consensual nonmonogamy, from seasoned veteran to timid newbie alike.”—Emily Sotelo Matlack, co-host of Multiamory podcast and co-author of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships
“No matter where your relationship stands, this book is a necessity for examining your future and creating the life you’ll love.”—Tammy Nelson, author of Open Monogamy; A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement
“So often advice about nonmongamy feels like it is addressing the visible issues at hand—jealousy, boundaries, communication, etc—so relationships can survive. In Polywise, Jessica Fern and David Cooley help readers understand the often unseen root causes of those symptoms and give them the strategies they need so their relationships can actually thrive."—JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having
“If you are ready to think more deeply about communication, codependency, conflict, and repair in your most important relationships, Polywise is required reading. I am looking forward to recommending this guide to clients and students.”—Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and host of Reimagining Love
“A roadmap for evolving both self and relationship. Its compassionate tone, thoughtful exercises, and emphasis on inner work make it a companion for anyone navigating shifts in love.”—Tal Gur, Elevate Society
Foreword
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Chapter One: Shifting Paradigms
Chapter Two: Troubleshooting Uncertainty and Resistance to CNM Transitions
Chapter Three: Exposing the Cracks in the Foundation
Chapter Four: Managing Conflict and Repairing Past Ruptures
Chapter Five: Codependency and Differentiation
Chapter Six: Dealing with Differences
Chapter Seven: Self Transformation
Conclusion
Glossary
References
Index