“Written by a licensed relationship therapist and a divorce attorney, if you read this book, you won’t need the services of either! Insightful and relatable, the stories and advice in this book can help ANY couple!”
—Becca Anderson, author of Let Me Count the Ways

“As a matrimonial lawyer of forty years, I feel that Julie and David touched upon some very difficult subjects that couples are faced with, but they are unprepared to deal with. As a result, the issues are not discussed between them in a productive manner and can lead to acrimony in the relationship. The wonderful dynamic between this couple is remarkable—with David ‘stating the obvious’ (i.e., what everyone is thinking but afraid to say) in a manner that normalizes the issue; and then Julie steps in to reframe the issue so as to enlighten and teach the psychological perspective. The result: it brings hope to the couple, which is just terrific. Julie looks behind what is actually happening, and articulates the source of the problem, not what appears to be happening on the surface, so it is easier for the couple to understand and deal with. I found the chapters addressing bipolar disorder, ADHD, trans issues, and boundaries with parents particularly enlightening because parents just do not know how to deal with these topics and are ashamed to even discuss them. The Bulitts’ courage in sharing their own story made me cry, but that in and of itself brings authenticity to the entire book. Well done!”
—Robin Taub, Esquire, matrimonial lawyer

“In an age of Instagram perfection and rom-com endings, David and Julie Bulitt are a wonderful breath of fresh air. Secrets of Strong Couples tackles the most difficult situations a couple can face—from illness, to infidelity, to the loss of a child and more. The Bulitts help each couple to share their story and how they survived, and then find the most valuable lessons for the rest of us. Honest, respectful, revealing, caring, and, above all, supremely helpful, Secrets of Strong Couples is a vital roadmap for how to keep lasting love in your life, no matter what life throws your way.”
—Lyric W. Winik, NYT bestselling writer and coauthor of How To Be Human: An Autistic Man’s Guide to Life 

“Want to save money and avoid divorce court? The family therapist and divorce attorney, married for more than thirty-five years, provide concrete advice for everything from infidelity to adoption that affect marriages. Read both this book and their first one and you may save your marriage. It's an eye-opener!”
—Julie Schoerke, founder of Books Forward and Books Fluent 

“This book is special. The selections are current, topical, and up to now, many are largely untouched. The takeaways are spot on! Julie and David’s candor about their personal experience adds humility and real-world experience to their professional depth. It’s an engaging and insightful read.”
—Deborah Reiser, Esq., matrimonial lawyer, Best Lawyers in America, Lawyer of the Year 2016, 2020 

Contents

Introduction: Drilling Down

The First Conflict: Becoming a Parent

1. Karim and Natasha: Finding the Same Page
2. John and Jennifer: Infertility, Adoption and the Second Time Around
3. Megan and Sean: Religion, Family, and IVF
4. Torrence and Tamika: Maybe It’s Not Meant to Be
5. Brittany and Nicholas: Can We Go Thru It Again?
6. Bethany and George: Yours, Mine, Ours?

The Second Conflict: Illness, Death and Loss

1. Barbara and Steve: Silence and Strength Carry Them Through
2. Linda and Matt: Our Boy Has Cancer
3. Sarah and Michael: She’s Crazy. I Love Her.
4. Jeff and Dana: It’s Not Jeff. It’s Someone Else. Someone I Don’t Know.
5. Brandon and Lauren: Why Can’t He Be Normal?
6. Tony and Nicole: He Used to Run. Now He Sleeps.
7. Becca and Ron: She Won’t Get Better. And Then She’ll Die.

The Third Conflict: Jobs, Careers, and Money

1. Ty and Candice: It’s a Man’s Job. I Failed.
2. Randi and Jake: He Needs to Get Back to the Office
3. Kyle and Morgan: I Thought It Was a Good Idea. Then the Credit Cards Got Maxed.
4. Juan and Vanessa: Kids Are in School. I’m Back to Work.
5. Noah and Lindsey: We’re Broke. Are We Broken?
6. Troy and Angel: Up in Smoke

The Fourth Conflict: Frequent Fractures

1. Kimberly and Ben: Only a One Nighter. Or Was It Two?
2. Pam and Ryan: His Mom Makes Our Bed
3. Gina and Todd: It Used to Just Take a Stiff Wind
4. Christie and Jim: Another Dead Soldier
5. Tristan and Carly: He Gambled. We Lost.
6. Keith and Anna: I Have Three children. Didn’t Ask for a Fourth.

The Fifth Conflict: Living Your Life

1. Aimee and Claudia: Yes, We’re Gay. Yes, That’s Our Son.
2. Max and Inez: We’re Jewish. He’s Black.
3. Maya and Howard: It’s Not as Sweet as a Cookie
4. Jamar and Nichelle: He Should Be Hammering Nails, Not Painting Them
5. Cam and Erin: Black Plus White Equals What Exactly?
6. Corey and Scott: It’s Not the 1950s. Or Is It?

The Takeaway
About the Authors