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“This book reminds us that time’s real value lies in the human moments we refuse to rush.” - Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret and When
“Sometimes You Should Be Late shows why slowing down in the right contexts isn’t an obstacle to progress, but a prerequisite for it.” - Jamie Metzl, bestselling author of Superconvergence and The AI Ten Commandments
“This insightful meditation on time is ultimately a call to stay attuned to our values more than the clock.” - Rhaina Cohen, Bestselling author of The Other Significant Others
“A must-read for anyone who wants to feel less rushed and more present.” - Anne-Laure Le Cunff, neuroscientist and author of Tiny Experiments
What if the real measure of your life isn’t how fast you run, how much you do, how 'on time' you are, but how well you pay attention to what actually matters?
Sometimes You Should Be Late is about the quiet courage to slow down when the world keeps shouting, hurry up. It’s not really about clocks; it’s about questioning the stories we’ve inherited about time and consciously, rebelliously, choosing our own path.
We live in a culture that worships urgency. Like horses with blinders, we’re trained to look straight ahead—at deadlines, meetings, and to-do lists. This book invites us to lift those blinders and see what we’re missing: the colleague who has a sad look in their eye, the simple joy of a walk, the gift of a slow morning with loved ones, the stranger who needs help. Because sometimes being late is how we arrive on time for what truly matters.
Drawing on stories from government, psychology, and everyday life, meditation teacher and writer Alex Snider offers a field guide for reclaiming your attention from urgency culture. This isn’t about hacks or time-management tricks. It’s about choosing presence over punctuality, kindness over checklists, and our humanity over the clock.
Alex Snider is a writer, facilitator, and former government strategist who bridges the worlds of public service and mindfulness. He brings over 15 years of federal experience to his work, having shaped domestic policy through the President’s Management Agenda, represented the United States as a diplomat at the Department of State, and served in roles at the World Bank, the U.S. Mission to the United Nations, and the U.S. Senate. He holds degrees from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Georgetown University’s School of Foreign Service.
Alex writes about mindfulness, urgency culture, and relationships for Psychology Today, his Substack Slow Mindfulness, and other publications. A certified meditation and authentic relating instructor, he has led hundreds of workshops in Washington, DC, and beyond. He also co-founded Mindful Fed, a cross-government mindfulness community that has grown to thousands of participants, helping public servants slow down and show up with presence.
Foreword xi
Preface: Choose how you read this book xiii
Introduction: I should have left later 1
Part One: The blinders we inherit 13
- How punctuality became a virtue 15
- Your brain on late 35
- The high cost of being on time 45
- Judge the late at your own peril 59
- The many clocks 71
Part Two: Choosing how we move through time 87
- The kindness buffer 89
- When you’re late, slow down 101
- The art of authentic lateness 119
- How to wait without waiting 141
Conclusion: I’m glad you’re here 161
Annex 171
Creating this book with others 173
Experiments in the wild 177
- Work: Sometimes you should miss the deadline 178
- School: Sometimes you should get a B 184
- Friendship: Sometimes you should cancel 190
- Family: Sometimes you should not go home for the holidays 196
List of glimpses and glimmers and relational reflections 201
A slow bookshelf 211
Go slowly 215
Index 217
About the author 223