Getting a doctorate in Europe is supremely attractive for young Catholic priests from the Global South. They attain prestige, career advancement, and – in many cases – the opportunity to move permanently from impoverished countries to some of the world’s wealthiest. But do they submit rigorous, original doctoral research in keeping with universal academic standards? This study examines theological dissertations by international students accepted by major Austrian universities and shows that academic incompetence, plagiarism, and negligent supervision are seriously damaging theological institutions – in Europe and abroad. By looking the other way, advisors and administrators do their students and the church a disservice.