Some error occured while loading the Quick View. Please close the Quick View and try reloading the page.
He disappeared without a trace… and returned with secrets no one could imagine.
In 1978, Steven Kubacki vanished from the ice of Lake Michigan, presumed dead—only to reappear 15 months later under a new identity. This coming-of-age true story and self-discovery memoir hints at a life lived in shadows: secret missions, hidden alliances, multiverse (spiritual) experiences, and journeys that spanned continents. What he did, where he went, and who he became remain shrouded in mystery, making this life-changing memoir a gripping, extraordinary story of transformation, resilience, and redemption.
From daring adventures abroad to encounters that tested his mind, body, and spirit, Kubacki’s experiences blend adventurer stories, inspirational nonfiction, and extraordinary stories into a tale that challenges everything you think you know. Filled with rare letters, personal reflections, and moments of profound self-discovery, this memoir explores trauma recovery, identity, and the transformative power of a secret life lived on the edge.
You’ll discover:
-
Glimpses of an unexplained disappearance that stunned the world
-
International adventures and secret training that pushed every limit
-
Encounters that shaped his mind, spirit, and purpose
-
Rare letters, poetry, and personal reflections revealing hidden truths
-
Lessons in resilience, trauma recovery, and finding one’s path
For readers seeking life-changing memoirs, coming-of-age true stories, and inspirational nonfiction filled with mystery and adventure. Fans of The Stranger in the Woods, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, or American Radical will find The Disappearance an unforgettable journey into identity, courage, and the extraordinary.
“The Disappearance may read like a tragic comedy, but at its heart it is a timely tale about desperation, revolutionary dreams, and a journey to triumph over the darkness that lies within us all.”
—Jonathan Evison, New York Times bestselling author
“An intriguing account of a man who disappeared, then reappeared…beautifully written, deeply self-reflective, tantalizing, and layered with levels of mystery. Things are not always as they appear, as Steven Kubacki wrestles with what happens to him (and with his own actions) and strives to make sense of it all.”
—Alan Tjeltveit, psychology professor emeritus at Muhlenberg College
“The Disappearance is Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol on acid with hints of Carlos Castaneda, Jack Kerouac, and the wandering, road-hungry Woody Guthrie. Our protagonist, Steve Kubacki (Ebenezer Scrooge), is redeemed just as he was becoming Nathan (Jacob Marley). In terms the Beat poets and Timothy Leary fans would understand (but Dickens might wonder at), Kubacki was restored and lifted to a higher plane of human existence by finding the holy grail: interdependence in others. The resulting outflowing of compassion, the loss of the exaggerated self, the palpable celebration and triumph of agape love, make the conclusion inspiring.”
—Linden DeBie, PhD, author of Dorian, Rip’s Knickerbockers, Speculative Theology and Common-Sense Religion, and several edited works on American religion and philosophy
“Steve Kubacki wrote the most intriguing book… I really immersed myself in this book and this must-read story that leads to questioning how much of reality we really understand, and what choices we have in shifting out of the states of illusion we are in now to living a life filled with light.”
—Sandra Ingerman, MA, international shamanic teacher and author of thirteen books, including Soul Retrieval
“It takes immense courage to revisit and share such personal experiences, even more so after decades of silence. Steven's willingness to illuminate that lost chapter of his life with raw honesty and philosophical depth speaks volumes about his commitment not only to the truth, but also to inspiring readers through his story. I'm excited to witness how his journey resonates with the world.”
—Tisha Shull, LCMHC, international trainer for the Internal Family Systems (IFS) Institute
Table of Contents
Prologue: Skiing onto the Ice
Chapter 1: The Disappearance
Chapter 2: The Reemergence
Chapter 3: A Flexible Sense of Reality
Chapter 4: The Origins of the NRF
Chapter 5: Nathan T. Stanfield
Chapter 6: The Jaguar
Chapter 7: The Dark Monk
Chapter 8: A Mother's Intuition
Chapter 9: Back in the USA
Chapter 10: The Meeting
Chapter 11: The French Foreign Legion
Chapter 12: The End of the NRF
Chapter 13: The Wandering Monk
Chapter 14: Keeping the Silence
Epilogue: Post-Disappearance
Acknowledgments
About the Authors