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Find hope and renewal in life's natural cycle of ordinary losses and new beginnings.
"When we intentionally enter into our everyday walk through small losses, the terrain of larger losses, the valley of the shadow of death, is not totally unknown. It is not completely unfamiliar, alien, terrifying, for we have walked some of this way before with our lesser losses. We can journey through this valley of loss, for journey through it we must. And we can emerge markedly changed, but alive, on the other side."
—from the Prologue
Going beyond loss as a problem to be resolved, a grief to be worked through, Dr. Nancy Copeland-Payton, a spiritual director and ordained clergywoman, reframes loss from the perspective that our everyday losses help us learn what we need to handle the major losses. Weaving in spiritual and classical themes, personal and scriptural story, Dr. Copeland-Payton shows us that by becoming aware of what our lesser losses have to teach us, the larger losses of our lives become less terrifying. Each chapter includes a spiritual practice and questions for reflection to help you:
- Mine the hidden depths of painful losses of things and places
- Traverse the devastating loss of relationships and the heart-wrenching death of people we love.
- Overcome the steep, dark slopes of loss of beliefs and faith.
- Venture past our fear of the losses of aging and our own death.
"Capture[s] beautifully the paradox that the losses of our lives can become our gains. By weaving story, experience and faith … shows how our deepest hurts may be the soil that nurtures the seeds of our transformation."
—Sr. Clarissa Goeckner, prioress, Monastery of St. Gertrude, Cottonwood, Idaho
“An extraordinary and wise guide in the treacherous terrain of loss.”
—Rabbi Dayle A. Friedman, author, Jewish Visions for Aging: A Professional Guide for Fostering Wholeness
“Walks us step by step through the stages of life ... helping us delve deeper into the meaning of gift and loss—inconsequential or catastrophic—when they are considered together.”
—Terry Taylor, author, A Spirituality for Brokenness: Discovering Your Deepest Self in Difficult Times
“Offers a way to reflect on loss that is integrative and practical. Invites the reader on a journey of depth and care.”
—Mary C. Earle, author, Days of Grace: Meditations and Practices for Living with Illness
“An extraordinarily wise, practical guide … on how to develop a deep spirituality grounded in the matrix between the wounds of everyday life from birth to death and the longing for God as the sacred ground discovered in the everyday gifts of life.”
—Dr. Tyron Inbody, professor emeritus of theology, United Theological Seminary, Dayton, Ohio; author, The Transforming God: An Interpretation of Suffering and Evil
“[This] beautifully written and deeply pastoral book touched my soul as [the] stories melded with my stories to explore ever more deeply the fabric of gift and loss in our lives. To everyone who deals with losses—and that's all of us—I highly recommend it.”
—Rev. Clifton Kirkpatrick, president, World Alliance of Reformed Churches; visiting professor of ecumenical studies and global ministries, Louisville Presbyterian Theological Seminary
Acknowledgments
Prologue
1 The Human Tapestry
Spiritual Practice: Breath Prayer
Exploring Deeper
2 Birth Pangs and Passages
Spiritual Practice: Walking Meditation
Exploring Deeper
3 Awakening: Patterns of Gift and Loss
Spiritual Practice: Examen
Exploring Deeper
4 Things and Places
Spiritual Practice: Sand Mandala
Exploring Deeper
5 The Ebb and Flow of Relationships
Spiritual Practice: Labyrinth
Exploring Deeper
6 Relationships That Unravel and Tear Apart
Spiritual Practice: Accompaniment
Exploring Deeper
7 When Foundations Shake and Crumble
Spiritual Practice: Lectio Divina
Exploring Deeper
8 The Passing of Time: Our Final Loss … and Gift
Spiritual Practice: Guided Meditation
Exploring Deeper
Epilogue
Notes
Suggestions for Further Reading