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To Do ASAP
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27 April 2027
From a writer and performer described as “fiercely hilarious” by The New Yorker, a collection of absurd and intimate attempts to accomplish twenty four daunting tasks in an era of structural overwhelm and collective awakening.
We are all confronted with daunting tasks, each urgent in their own way: Act normal at a birthday party. Assassinate a war criminal. Log onto some new patient portal. Seize state power once we decide if we want to seize state power. Get a better attachment style. Forgive people who are younger. Don’t spend eleven hours on the phone. Every day more and more things to do. No wonder we are so overwhelmed!
To-do lists are the preferred genre of all sorts of people seeking control in a chaotic world. And yet they sadly do not ensure we’ll actually get to our tasks. In To Do ASAP, activist and comedian Morgan Bassichis takes action.
As Morgan hilariously tackles twenty four of their own persistent outstanding to dos, they insist that we embrace the contradictory qualities in ourselves that we might think discount us from meaningfully engaging with politics. They invite us to grapple with the anxieties of taking action in times of perpetual emergency, and to renew our commitment to collective struggle—however imperfect and compromised.
Introduction
- Open my heart to people who identify as clowns
- Decide gender by EOD today
- Reflect on why I haven’t been invited to anyone’s house to watch the Oscars
- Ask DOGE for help cutting down on protein bars
- Send dad stuff about Israel
- Leave cult but don’t be intense about it
- Is helping an old person with their iPhone activism?
- Invent homeopathic nose jobs
- Find a psychic who specializes in scalp issues
- Clarify which government institutions we’re supposed to be defending
- Write about anything other than wanting to be famous or being scared of being famous
- Cram Internal Family Systems
- Ask the cemetery staff if there’s wifi
- Unconditionally love accept my body so I can really wow people
- Find something from childhood to rehash with mom
- Combine list of regrets into one master document
- Ask someone to briefly explain satire
- What if some feelings are facts?
- Check spam again for MacArthur
- Don’t make the activist meeting about me
- Stop pulling my hair out
- Find partner for remaining weeks of earth
- Wake up as someone who loves groups
- Consider victory
Appendix. Unfinished Business
Index
Acknowledgements