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To Do ASAP
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27 April 2027
From a writer and performer described as “fiercely hilarious” by The New Yorker, a collection of absurd and intimate attempts to accomplish twenty-four pressing to-do items in an era of perpetual emergency and revolutionary possibility
We are all confronted with daunting tasks, each urgent in their own way.
- Act normal at a birthday party
- Honor Stonewall by having sex in the bathroom at Starbucks
- Assassinate a war criminal
- Log onto some new patient portal
- Seize state power once we decide if we want to seize state power
- Get a better attachment style
- Forgive people who are younger
- Don’t spend eleven hours on the phone
Every day more and more things to do. No wonder we are so overwhelmed!
To-do lists are the preferred genre of all sorts of people seeking control in a chaotic world. And yet they sadly do not ensure we’ll actually get to all the unfinished business that keeps on piling up. In To Do ASAP, comedian and organizer Morgan Bassichis takes action.
As Morgan tackles twenty-four of their own outstanding tasks, they invite all of us to B.Y.O. loose ends and imperfect selves to the messy collective work of building the world we long for.
Introduction
- Open my heart to people who identify as clowns
- Decide gender by EOD today
- Reflect on why I haven’t been invited to anyone’s house to watch the Oscars
- Ask DOGE for help cutting down on protein bars
- Send dad stuff about Israel
- Leave cult but don’t be intense about it
- Is helping an old person with their iPhone activism?
- Invent homeopathic nose jobs
- Find a psychic who specializes in scalp issues
- Clarify which government institutions we’re supposed to be defending
- Write about anything other than wanting to be famous or being scared of being famous
- Cram Internal Family Systems
- Ask the cemetery staff if there’s wifi
- Unconditionally love accept my body so I can really wow people
- Find something from childhood to rehash with mom
- Combine list of regrets into one master document
- Ask someone to briefly explain satire
- What if some feelings are facts?
- Check spam again for MacArthur
- Don’t make the activist meeting about me
- Stop pulling my hair out
- Find partner for remaining weeks of earth
- Wake up as someone who loves groups
- Consider victory
Appendix. Unfinished Business
Index
Acknowledgements