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You Absolute Plonker

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Learn the Art of the Perfect British Put-Down Dry, devastating, and delightfully witty—You Absolute Plonker is your passport to mastering the cheeky charm of British lingo and backhanded compliment...
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  • 25 November 2025
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Learn the Art of the Perfect British Put-Down

Dry, devastating, and delightfully witty—You Absolute Plonker is your passport to mastering the cheeky charm of British lingo and backhanded compliments.

From casual pub banter to the razor-sharp repartee of British comedy books, this guide unveils the nation’s best jabs, witty put-downs, and euphemisms, all delivered with that signature deadpan humor.

Written by internet personality and British humor aficionado Michael Baker, this book decodes the colorful world of British slang, vernacular, and colloquialisms that make up the UK’s most beloved (and biting) forms of communication. Whether you’re wondering What is dry humor? or eager to impress your mates with authentic British insults, this guide has you covered.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • Ways to master the art of the backhanded compliment and insult someone so politely they’ll thank you for it.
  • Advice to sharpen your wit with a repertoire of British euphemisms, Shakespearean burns, and modern-day snark.
  • How to decode everyday British lingo and uncover the subtle slights and deadpan humor woven into casual conversation.


A Must-Have Gift for Lovers of British Humor. Perfect for fans of British humor books, anglophiles, expats, or anyone hunting for dry humor gifts,You Absolute Plonker turns you into a true connoisseur of cheeky charm. So, grab a cuppa and prepare to wield words with the grace of a British aristocrat and the cheek of a seasoned pub regular.

If you liked Very British Problems, The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill, or How to Speak Brit, then you’ll love You Absolute Plonker.

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Price: $24.99
Pages: 154
Publisher: Key Lime Publishing
Imprint: Mango
Publication Date: 25 November 2025
Trim Size: 8.50 X 5.50 in
ISBN: 9781684818716
Format: Hardcover
BISACs: HUMOR / Topic / Language, LANGUAGE ARTS & DISCIPLINES / Linguistics / Historical & Comparative, LANGUAGE ARTS & DISCIPLINES / Linguistics / Syntax, HUMOR / Form / Jokes & Riddles, HUMOR / Topic / Travel, TRAVEL / Europe / Great Britain, HUMOR / Form / Trivia, Language: history & general works, Historical & comparative linguistics, Grammar, syntax & morphology, Humour
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Introduction

Part 1: What Makes an Insult Truly British?

  • Classic British Insults
  • Posh & Aristocratic Insults

Part 2: The Art of the British Backhanded Compliment

  • Full-On Phrases
  • Situational Insults

Part 3: Historical Insults from British Figures

  • Insult like a Lady or Gentleman
  • Insults for the Clueless

Part 4: The Insult Comeback Guide

  • Modern British Insults
  • Insults by Category

Englishman Mike’s Top 100

Conclusion: How to Wield This New Power

About the Author