Family & Relationships

A guided questionnaire to help understand ourselves and our romantic relationships more clearly.

Most questionnaires are happy to be a bit of fun; this one sets out to be both entertaining and, more importantly, useful – offering us nothing less than a guide to the comforting and supportive relationships we long for.

With online apps taking over the dating game, it has never been more crucial to know the rules.

Through a series of pertinent questions, it reveals our distinctive style of loving, what our strengths and weaknesses are with partners and how we might secure genuine fulfillment going forward.

As we work through the questionnaire and its accompanying essays, writing the answers in a notebook, we discover the many reasons why relationships go wrong – and how they might do so far less often in the future. The book considers the role of self-hatred, the influence of childhood, the importance of vulnerability, the appeal of unavailable people and the best way to overcome patterns of self-doubt and unhealthy attachment.

Our minds are such confusing places, even the most thoughtful among us can fail to know central things about how we behave in relationships. This questionnaire will help us to understand ourselves more clearly – and so set us free to discover the love we deserve.

A bold rethinking of the wedding ceremony - and what comes before and after - designed to prepare us for modern marriage.

Many couples today feel uncomfortable with the rituals traditionally associated with getting married. The old ceremonies can feel too overtly religious and out of step with the complexities of contemporary relationships. In response to this dilemma, The School of Life has rethought the ideal wedding day and redesigned the entire process from scratch.

The book begins by proposing new methods of psychological preparation, providing practical advice on how to prepare not only for the day of the wedding, but for the long marriage that follows. Also included is a practical and thoughtfully redesigned wedding ceremony, covering everything from picking a venue to writing vows and selecting readings.

With their trademark wisdom and warmth, The School of Life presents a bold rethinking of one of humankind's most important and popular rituals.

• AN OUTLINE FOR A NEW KIND OF WEDDING CEREMONY: based on psychological theory rather than religious traditions.
  
• INCLUDES PRACTICAL INSTRUCTION: for marriage preparation, as well as advice for married life.
• GENDER INCLUSIVE: and non-heteronormative.
• PART OF THE NEW PAPERBACK SERIES 'LESSONS FOR LIFE'

A book to offer clarity and guidance when facing the difficult decision of whether your relationship has a future

Should you stay or leave?

Whether we should stay in or leave a relationship is one of the most consequential and painful decisions we are ever likely to confront.

What makes the issue so hard is that there are no fixed rules for judgment. How can we tell whether a relationship is “good enough” or just not the right fit? How do we draw the line between longing and naivety? Is sex vital or can a relationship survive without it? Does someone “better” actually exist? How much should the feelings of children be considered (and what might they be in the long term)? Could one’s partner change, perhaps with therapy, or should one assume that who they are now is who they will always be?

All these questions typically haunt us as we weigh whether to stay or go. With no ax to grind, or ideology to promote, this book takes the reader (gently) through their options and opens their mind to perspectives they might not have considered. The goal is to help clarify what the reader wants—truly wants—deep down, so that the answer that emerges will be properly attuned to their unique circumstances and often very private aspirations. Here is a tool that carries the promise of the future we deserve.

This book aims to take the reader towards a time, perhaps presently hard to imagine, when the choice of whether to stay or go will no longer feel so agonizing. This book helps us understand ourselves deeply, helps us consider our options, minimize our regrets—and find the way ahead.

Since around 1750, we have been living in the era of Romanticism, which has shaped the way we approach love, marriage, and sex. When it comes to love, this book argues, Romanticism has been a disaster. Full of real-life examples, lively humor, and cultural anecdotes, Relationships teaches us: 

• That love and sex may not always go together (and that’s OK)
• That discussing money early on, in a serious way, is not a betrayal of love That acknowledging respective flaws can be a couple’s superpower
• That we will never find everything we need in another person
• That spending two hours discussing whether bathroom towels should be hung up or can be left on the floor has its own dignity

With wisdom, wit, and compassion, this innovative guide paves the way to a new, brighter future for love. Part of a new essential paperback series from The School of Life, covering a range of emotional lessons needed in order to lead fulfilled and happy lives.

• DOWN WITH ROMANTICISM! this book teaches you how to find love, and keep it—without rosy-colored glasses. 
• LEARN THE SKILL OF LOVE—AND LIVING WITH YOUR PARTNER’S FLAWS a refreshing, skills-based take on how to approach relationships, and be realistic about long term partnership. 
• PRACTICAL RELATIONSHIP ADVICE like why to talk about money early on, and how to find dignity in the dreary domestic details of life.
• CLASSIC BLACK & WHITE IMAGES throughout.
• PART OF THE NEW PAPERBACK SERIES 'LESSONS FOR LIFE'

The School of Life’s approach to love - in a pocket format 

In the first of a series of pocket books, The School of Life has distilled its most essential ideas on love in order to produce a bitesize manual that is both useful and entertaining. 

We learn – among other things – how to pick partners more reliably, how to avoid conflict and how to know whether a relationship is really for us. By exploring key themes within the topic of relationships, such as Anxious Attachment, Attachment theory, Long-term love, Romantic disappointment, Secrets in love and Crushes, this book shows us how satisfied love life is not a chance event but something that we can all plot for and achieve. 

Love is a skill, not an emotion; this is a guide to how we might master it.

Pair with the Connect Cards and The Compatibility Game, to help foster connection and closeness.