Biography & Autobiography

“Mark Matousek has produced [a] riveting account of his search–at age 38, with the help of a private detective–for the father who abandoned him at age four. A searing meditation on the psychic harm suffered by men and women without fathers, this wise odyssey wrestles with questions of life and death and the search for the meaning of one’s existence.” —Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)

“I was four years old when my father came back to kidnap me,” begins this gripping memoir about Matousek’s search for James Matousek, the drifter father he never knew. Matousek chronicles his compelling search for his own father by hiring a detective and reveals his own life as he follows the hard-bitten investigator from one dead-end to the next.

Described by the New York Times as “ part reminiscence, part detective story, part spiritual musing,” this memoir is more than the story of one man’s search for his father; it is also a look at the meaning of life and how fathers contribute to that meaning.

Winner of the 2023 Nautilus Book Awards Gold Prize for Memoir

This luminous memoir combines the hardscrabble setting of Appalachia with the spiritual wisdom of Shunryu Suzuki’s classic Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

“Amazing and intense. A unique, entertaining, and valuable contribution to the Dharma literature, Appalachian Zen addresses a part of the Western Dharma world that hasn’t received much attention: class.” —Rev. Sumi Loundon Kim, Yale University, author of Blue Jean Buddha and Sitting Together

Appalachian Zen describes a journey we all take, one that Buddhism calls “seeking our true home.” Edgy, lyrical, and lovingly rendered, this book recounts how a kid from a Pennsylvania mill-town trailer park grew up—surrounded by backwoods farms and amid grief, violence, and passionate yearning—to become something improbable: a Buddhist minister teaching Zen. Author Steve Kanji Ruhl takes readers on an adventure of discovery, roving far from the Appalachian Mountains of central Pennsylvania on a footloose Zen pilgrimage to Japan and beyond.

Featuring vivid firsthand accounts of spiritual seeking and teaching in Japanese temples, as well as forays to Tokyo and Hiroshima, the alleys of Kyoto, Amish cornfields near the Susquehanna, and a monastery in the Catskills, Appalachian Zen includes robust historical sketches, rapt nature passages, and cultural references ranging from Proust to punk rock. Throughout the book, Ruhl engages Buddhist themes of awakening and the death of the self by confronting the lives and deaths, including two by suicide, of his loved ones. This provocative memoir tells how it feels to practice Zen, and to move toward a life of hard-won forgiveness, healing, and freedom.

A modern prophet looks back on seven decades of activism.

Ask an expert who are the 5 most influential American Jewish leaders of the last century and Rabbi Arthur Waskow will make most of the lists. The author of the original Freedom Seder and legendary social justice activist is now in his 90s, and has recorded significant memories, relationships, and events of the last seventy years. Beginning with an anecdote about Gloria Steinem and the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968, Waskow plunges the reader into the counter-culture that has defined his life and work.

“But in the summer of 1968, I didn’t have the language of Spirit,” Waskow writes, and this becomes a chronicle of blending active resistance to tyranny with a gradual discovery of what Waskow calls very simply “Love.” Thus comes the title of this memoir, as these are personal accounts and encounters of Spirit rising—in an extraordinary life.

“A must-read for anyone on the path of awakening.” —Roshi Joan Halifax

A raw and revelatory spiritual memoir that chronicles a woman’s quest for love, healing, and awakening across multiple continents.

From the emotional barrenness of a postwar German childhood to the false promise of guru culture, the ecstasy of mystical experience, and the crucible of human intimacy, Annette Knopp’s unflinchingly honest account illuminates both the pitfalls and rewards of the spiritual path and her work as a teacher assisting others in navigating the path to wholeness.

Struggling with depression and lack of meaning prompts the author to leave her fiancé and successful career in Spain to travel to the Osho ashram in Pune. Her journey takes her further to the Dalai Lama in Northern India, the nightclubs and Shinto shrines in Japan, facing a female Buddha in New Zealand, working nightshifts in an opal mine in Australia’s outback, diving into somatic therapy and Tibetan Buddhism in Amsterdam, shamanism in Peru, teaching in the US, until the opening of a retreat center with her husband in Costa Rica.

Annette experiences profound shifts of spiritual awakening and the shattering of illusions in her encounters with various teachers and traditions. Her path takes a dark turn when she is sexually assaulted by a trusted spiritual mentor, plunging her into a crisis of faith and a deep descent into unresolved trauma. With unflinching honesty and vulnerability, she illuminates the complexities of the teacher-student relationship, the dangers of spiritual bypassing, and the importance of personal empowerment and discernment on the spiritual path. Sharing her healing and integration process, Knopp weaves insights from Eastern contemplative traditions, Western psychology, earth-based wisdom practices, and somatic approaches to trauma resolution.

“A must-read for anyone on the path of awakening.” —Roshi Joan Halifax

A raw and revelatory spiritual memoir that chronicles a woman’s quest for love, healing, and awakening across multiple continents.

From the emotional barrenness of a postwar German childhood to the false promise of guru culture, the ecstasy of mystical experience, and the crucible of human intimacy, Annette Knopp’s unflinchingly honest account illuminates both the pitfalls and rewards of the spiritual path and her work as a teacher assisting others in navigating the path to wholeness.

Struggling with depression and lack of meaning prompts the author to leave her fiancé and successful career in Spain to travel to the Osho ashram in Pune. Her journey takes her further to the Dalai Lama in Northern India, the nightclubs and Shinto shrines in Japan, facing a female Buddha in New Zealand, working nightshifts in an opal mine in Australia’s outback, diving into somatic therapy and Tibetan Buddhism in Amsterdam, shamanism in Peru, teaching in the US, until the opening of a retreat center with her husband in Costa Rica.

Annette experiences profound shifts of spiritual awakening and the shattering of illusions in her encounters with various teachers and traditions. Her path takes a dark turn when she is sexually assaulted by a trusted spiritual mentor, plunging her into a crisis of faith and a deep descent into unresolved trauma. With unflinching honesty and vulnerability, she illuminates the complexities of the teacher-student relationship, the dangers of spiritual bypassing, and the importance of personal empowerment and discernment on the spiritual path. Sharing her healing and integration process, Knopp weaves insights from Eastern contemplative traditions, Western psychology, earth-based wisdom practices, and somatic approaches to trauma resolution.

2024 WINNER Autobiography/Memoir Best Book Awards
2025 Nautilus Award Winner | Silver | Death & Dying / Grief & Loss
2025 Foreword INDIES Award Winner | Bronze | Grief/Grieving (Adult Nonfiction)

“A wondrous, hopeful, heart-breaking witness to one of the darkest journeys imaginable… This will be one of those rare books that people re-read, think about, and encourage others to read.” —Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D, author, with Oprah Winfrey, of What Happened to You

“I love this book. I absolutely could not put it down. It is beautifully written and cuts to the very heart of life and love: The story of Havi’s short, beautiful life and early death from Tay-Sachs is harrowing, heartbreaking, uplifting, profound and sometimes funny. Havi will charm the socks off you.”—Anne Lamott

Life is unfolding as planned for Myra Sack and her husband Matt until their beautiful year-old daughter Havi is diagnosed with Tay-Sachs, a fatal neurodegenerative disease, and given only a year to live. Myra and Matt decide to celebrate Havi’s short life and vow to show her as much of the world as they can, surrounded by friends and family who relocate to be in Havi’s orbit. Tapping their Judaism, they transform Friday night Shabbats into birthday parties—“Shabbirthdays”—to replace the birthdays Havi will never have.

An Oklahoma girl’s years of immersion in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery

Girl in a Box: Seeking Enlightenment as a Tibetan Buddhist Nun chronicles a five-year immersion in the paradigm-altering world of a Tibetan retreat center in New York’s Hudson Valley. It weaves flashbacks of Collins’ former life with her ongoing attempts to surrender to monastic life. She travels to India with her teacher, takes vows as a nun, then returns to life at the monastery where she works as a house cleaner days and evenings to earn money to attend a dreamed-of three-year retreat. In her struggle to become a stellar nun, she conducts a one-sided jealous rivalry with a beautiful and “perfect” young nun—whom she later discovers is hiding a shocking secret. She also describes the grueling practice of performing over 100,000 prostrations and her disillusionment upon learning of the imperfect humanity of her revered teachers.

As the underlying grace of those years spent with the Tibetans come into focus, Collins sees that she is like a girl who packs her suitcase and sets off down the road only to discover she has nowhere to go. What she is seeking––the very “home” she longs for––has been right there all along. Hiding in plain sight; masked in a cloak of the suffering she so longs to escape. Overlooked. Because, as the Tibetans teach—it’s too simple, too obvious, too close.

A memoir of adversity, hope, and the value of the Gurdjieff Work

James Opie’s spiritual autobiography is a story of continuous movement. Episodes of youthful right-wing politics, racism, and drug use move into resistance to the draft and Vietnam, and eventually connect with the teaching of G.I. Gurdjieff. Opie even enters the same line of work that the spiritual master maintained—becoming an Oriental rug dealer. There are travels to Iran and Afghanistan, and colorful characters as Opie plies his trade with distinction. Opie moves through several marriages and other personal turbulence. Fourteen years in a Gurdjieff center in Oregon come to an end in 1988 when Opie runs afoul of the motherly but overbearing leader of “The Farm.” But by then he has spoken with Madame Jeanne de Salzmann, Gurdjieff’s most devoted pupil who remained with him until his death in 1949 and for forty-one years worked to transmit his teaching and preserve the content and meaning of the Movements. Opie also learns directly from the leader of the Gurdjieff Work in North America, Lord Pentland. In the end, this memoir-with-Gurdjieff reveals how inner efforts and fortuitous help incrementally make a man more mature and serious, though still remaining a beginner.

An Oklahoma girl’s years of immersion in a Tibetan Buddhist monastery

Girl in a Box: Seeking Enlightenment as a Tibetan Buddhist Nun chronicles a five-year immersion in the paradigm-altering world of a Tibetan retreat center in New York’s Hudson Valley. It weaves flashbacks of Collins’ former life with her ongoing attempts to surrender to monastic life. She travels to India with her teacher, takes vows as a nun, then returns to life at the monastery where she works as a house cleaner days and evenings to earn money to attend a dreamed-of three-year retreat. In her struggle to become a stellar nun, she conducts a one-sided jealous rivalry with a beautiful and “perfect” young nun—whom she later discovers is hiding a shocking secret. She also describes the grueling practice of performing over 100,000 prostrations and her disillusionment upon learning of the imperfect humanity of her revered teachers.

As the underlying grace of those years spent with the Tibetans come into focus, Collins sees that she is like a girl who packs her suitcase and sets off down the road only to discover she has nowhere to go. What she is seeking––the very “home” she longs for––has been right there all along. Hiding in plain sight; masked in a cloak of the suffering she so longs to escape. Overlooked. Because, as the Tibetans teach—it’s too simple, too obvious, too close.

A memoir of adversity, hope, and the value of the Gurdjieff Work

James Opie’s spiritual autobiography is a story of continuous movement. Episodes of youthful right-wing politics, racism, and drug use move into resistance to the draft and Vietnam, and eventually connect with the teaching of G.I. Gurdjieff. Opie even enters the same line of work that the spiritual master maintained—becoming an Oriental rug dealer. There are travels to Iran and Afghanistan, and colorful characters as Opie plies his trade with distinction. Opie moves through several marriages and other personal turbulence. Fourteen years in a Gurdjieff center in Oregon come to an end in 1988 when Opie runs afoul of the motherly but overbearing leader of “The Farm.” But by then he has spoken with Madame Jeanne de Salzmann, Gurdjieff’s most devoted pupil who remained with him until his death in 1949 and for forty-one years worked to transmit his teaching and preserve the content and meaning of the Movements. Opie also learns directly from the leader of the Gurdjieff Work in North America, Lord Pentland. In the end, this memoir-with-Gurdjieff reveals how inner efforts and fortuitous help incrementally make a man more mature and serious, though still remaining a beginner.

A modern prophet looks back on seven decades of activism.

Ask an expert who are the 5 most influential American Jewish leaders of the last century and Rabbi Arthur Waskow will make most of the lists. The author of the original Freedom Seder and legendary social justice activist is now in his 90s, and has recorded significant memories, relationships, and events of the last seventy years. Beginning with an anecdote about Gloria Steinem and the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968, Waskow plunges the reader into the counter-culture that has defined his life and work.

“But in the summer of 1968, I didn’t have the language of Spirit,” Waskow writes, and this becomes a chronicle of blending active resistance to tyranny with a gradual discovery of what Waskow calls very simply “Love.” Thus comes the title of this memoir, as these are personal accounts and encounters of Spirit rising—in an extraordinary life.

“Julia Walsh gives me hope for a future with religious women changing the world. She tells a story all her own, but I felt her doubts, questions, and passion each step of the way. Highly recommended.” —Sister Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking and River of Fire

A questioning novice nun’s coming-of-age story. Readers will be moved to reflect on the universal human experiences of being broken and the pull to be part of something bigger than themselves.

At the age of 25, just a month into her novitiate as a Franciscan Sister, Julia Walsh fell from a cliff and became disfigured. While working toward healing, she felt pulled to religious community life, but also toward unresolved feelings regarding her own sexuality, identity, and injustice.

For Love of the Broken Body is a story of pain, questioning, recovery, and discovery. What does it mean to exist as a broken body? Why would a young woman dedicate herself to the Catholic Church—to a life as a Franciscan Sister—while others are leaving churches in droves?

The number of women choosing to enter religious life across the U.S. is shrinking rapidly, so Walsh encounters a lot of curiosity about her choice. In this memoir, she writes honestly about feeling drawn to men and to sex, as well as what it means, in this age of self-discovery and hook-ups, for a young woman—physically broken and still very much attracted to the world—to join a celibate, religious community.

"It's hard to know when you're having a breakdown in New York City. The symptoms of living here, succeeding here, and losing your mind here are almost identical." So begins Matousek's 1996 breakout memoir about leaving a fast-track publishing life (working for pop artist Andy Warhol at Interview Magazine) and hitting the dharma trail in search of a meaningful life and spiritual wisdom. Hailed by Publisher's Weekly as "brave, beautiful, and brilliantly observed," Sex Death Enlightenment became an international best seller (published in 10 countries). Like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love and Paul Monette in Borrowed Time, Matousek takes the reader on an insightful, rollicking search for answers to life's deepest questions in this landmark memoir.

“Mark Matousek takes you everywhere his title promises – and then some. Sex Death Enlightenment is the most gripping and elegantly written memoir I’ve read in ages. It tugged me onward like the best suspense novel, though I couldn’t help lingering time and again to savor its wisdom.” —Armistead Maupin, author of Tales of the City

“An extraordinarily articulate chronicle of how the sickness of our time can spawn spiritual awakening and compassion.” —Ram Dass, author of Be Here Now and Grist For the Mill

“Brave, beautiful and brilliantly observed.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

How I Found God in Everyone and Everywhere captures for a general audience the spiritual shift away from a God “up there” and “out there” and towards an immanent divine right here. It’s built around the personal journeys of a close-knit group of prominent contributors. Their spiritual visions of immanence, sometimes called “panentheism,” are serving as a path of spiritual return for a growing number of seekers today. Contributors include Deepak Chopra, Richard Rohr, Matthew Fox, Rupert Sheldrake, Cynthia Bourgeault, Ilia Delio, Keith Ward, John B. Cobb Jr., Loriliai Biernacki, Marjorie H. Suchocki, and Rabbi Bradley Shavid Artson.

Winner of the 2023 Nautilus Book Awards Gold Prize for Memoir

This luminous memoir combines the hardscrabble setting of Appalachia with the spiritual wisdom of Shunryu Suzuki’s classic Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind.

“Amazing and intense. A unique, entertaining, and valuable contribution to the Dharma literature, Appalachian Zen addresses a part of the Western Dharma world that hasn’t received much attention: class.” —Rev. Sumi Loundon Kim, Yale University, author of Blue Jean Buddha and Sitting Together

Appalachian Zen describes a journey we all take, one that Buddhism calls “seeking our true home.” Edgy, lyrical, and lovingly rendered, this book recounts how a kid from a Pennsylvania mill-town trailer park grew up—surrounded by backwoods farms and amid grief, violence, and passionate yearning—to become something improbable: a Buddhist minister teaching Zen. Author Steve Kanji Ruhl takes readers on an adventure of discovery, roving far from the Appalachian Mountains of central Pennsylvania on a footloose Zen pilgrimage to Japan and beyond.

Featuring vivid firsthand accounts of spiritual seeking and teaching in Japanese temples, as well as forays to Tokyo and Hiroshima, the alleys of Kyoto, Amish cornfields near the Susquehanna, and a monastery in the Catskills, Appalachian Zen includes robust historical sketches, rapt nature passages, and cultural references ranging from Proust to punk rock. Throughout the book, Ruhl engages Buddhist themes of awakening and the death of the self by confronting the lives and deaths, including two by suicide, of his loved ones. This provocative memoir tells how it feels to practice Zen, and to move toward a life of hard-won forgiveness, healing, and freedom.

“One of the most engaging memoirs I’ve read in ages. The wise and feisty voice I've come to know and love in Elizabeth Cunningham’s Maeve Chronicles fills these pages and carried me away. Anyone who has forged an independent path through the luminous moments and deepest shadows of a soul-filled life will recognize their own spiritual adventures reflected here.”—Mirabai Starr, God of Love

In this intriguing spiritual memoir, The Maeve Chronicles author Elizabeth Cunningham traces her dynamic faith journey and its relationship to her writing.

As the daughter of an Episcopal priest, author Elizabeth Cunningham was born into community, sacred story, and the mysteries of prayer. For her, “If a writer is one who writes, then a ‘prayer’ is one who prays.” As such, her praying is dynamic, a dance between many opposites—active vs. contemplative, community vs. individual, human vs. wild—and Cunningham sees the divine as both incarnate and transcendent, an intimate beloved and a vast mystery. When she prays, Cunningham is both audacious and reverent, asking tough questions of God—raging, listening intently, and dancing and singing ecstatically. Her storyteller’s imagination opens a path from the known to the unknowable, from despair to wonder. 

In this nonfiction debut, Cunningham recounts both her lifelong spiritual quest and her ongoing spiritual questions. Her journey takes her from her childhood church, with its ornate liturgy, to the silence of Quaker meeting; from her ordination as an interfaith minister to an eclectic, earth-centered community where she served as priestess before becoming a hermit, of sorts, making a church of her own backyard.

Candid and passionate, Cunningham’s memoir invites readers of all faiths—and doubts!—to explore what it means to live life as a prayer in the beautiful, imperiled world we share.

The memoir of a former Catholic priest whose career as a union leader, search for spiritual meaning, and assisted suicide became the subject of an article in the New York Times

The Priest Who Left His Religion follows the life of an ordained Catholic priest whose family prophesied at his birth would be the first American pope. Ordained as a Paulist in 1965, John Shields quickly became caught up by the reversals of the Second Vatican Council, which attempted to undo many of the liberalizing movements of the Catholic Church. Most shocking to Shields was the Church’s disavowal of scientific evidence in order to “protect the faithful.” Shattered and brokenhearted by his discovery of the Church’s dishonesty, he left the priesthood to embark on the courageous journey from religion to spirituality. Shields came to embrace life in the secular world and a faith that confirmed the union of science and spirit.

“I love this book. It feels like a secret treasure bequeathed by Stephen Levine to be opened after his death—an overflowing vessel of insight, humor and literary genius. Animal Sutras may be the best book Stephen Levine ever wrote.” —Mirabai Starr, Wild Mercy

“Stephen was a profound healer of the heart, writer and meditation teacher. In Animal Sutras, his other gifts shine, as a wise poet-naturalist and Dharma storyteller-philosopher, offered here in a lyrical, quirky, playful, and inviting collection.” —Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart

For Stephen Levine, “animal-people” were his greatest teachers. So, at age seventy, he began collecting animal spirit stories and transcendent moments in nature from throughout his life—from the green snake who taught him to meditate as a boy to the generous hen whom predators would not harm, and many more. “Animals have a natural mindfulness,” Levine writes. “They know what they are doing. Humans, who are full of confusion and seldom wholly in touch with their mind/body, need encouragement and technique to live in the present.”

Stephen Levine (1937–2016) was an American poet, author, and spiritual teacher best known for his work, with his wife Ondrea, on death and dying. He is one of a generation of pioneering teachers who made Theravada Buddhism more widely available to students in the West. Like the writings of his colleague and close friend Ram Dass (formerly Richard Alpert), Levine’s work is also flavored by the devotional practices and teachings of the Hindu guru Neem Karoli Baba. Levine spent many years in the Southwest, including one tending a wildlife sanctuary in southern Arizona, and among the mountains of New Mexico, where Ondrea still lives. His many books include Who Dies?, A Year to Live, Unattended Sorrow, and Healing into Life and Death.

“Julia Walsh gives me hope for a future with religious women changing the world. She tells a story all her own, but I felt her doubts, questions, and passion each step of the way. Highly recommended.” —Sister Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking and River of Fire

A questioning novice nun’s coming-of-age story. Readers will be moved to reflect on the universal human experiences of being broken and the pull to be part of something bigger than themselves.

At the age of 25, just a month into her novitiate as a Franciscan Sister, Julia Walsh fell from a cliff and became disfigured. While working toward healing, she felt pulled to religious community life, but also toward unresolved feelings regarding her own sexuality, identity, and injustice.

For Love of the Broken Body is a story of pain, questioning, recovery, and discovery. What does it mean to exist as a broken body? Why would a young woman dedicate herself to the Catholic Church—to a life as a Franciscan Sister—while others are leaving churches in droves?

The number of women choosing to enter religious life across the U.S. is shrinking rapidly, so Walsh encounters a lot of curiosity about her choice. In this memoir, she writes honestly about feeling drawn to men and to sex, as well as what it means, in this age of self-discovery and hook-ups, for a young woman—physically broken and still very much attracted to the world—to join a celibate, religious community.

“One of the most engaging memoirs I’ve read in ages. The wise and feisty voice I've come to know and love in Elizabeth Cunningham’s Maeve Chronicles fills these pages and carried me away. Anyone who has forged an independent path through the luminous moments and deepest shadows of a soul-filled life will recognize their own spiritual adventures reflected here.”—Mirabai Starr, God of Love

In this intriguing spiritual memoir, The Maeve Chronicles author Elizabeth Cunningham traces her dynamic faith journey and its relationship to her writing.

As the daughter of an Episcopal priest, author Elizabeth Cunningham was born into community, sacred story, and the mysteries of prayer. For her, “If a writer is one who writes, then a ‘prayer’ is one who prays.” As such, her praying is dynamic, a dance between many opposites—active vs. contemplative, community vs. individual, human vs. wild—and Cunningham sees the divine as both incarnate and transcendent, an intimate beloved and a vast mystery. When she prays, Cunningham is both audacious and reverent, asking tough questions of God—raging, listening intently, and dancing and singing ecstatically. Her storyteller’s imagination opens a path from the known to the unknowable, from despair to wonder. 

In this nonfiction debut, Cunningham recounts both her lifelong spiritual quest and her ongoing spiritual questions. Her journey takes her from her childhood church, with its ornate liturgy, to the silence of Quaker meeting; from her ordination as an interfaith minister to an eclectic, earth-centered community where she served as priestess before becoming a hermit, of sorts, making a church of her own backyard.

Candid and passionate, Cunningham’s memoir invites readers of all faiths—and doubts!—to explore what it means to live life as a prayer in the beautiful, imperiled world we share.

"It's hard to know when you're having a breakdown in New York City. The symptoms of living here, succeeding here, and losing your mind here are almost identical." So begins Matousek's 1996 breakout memoir about leaving a fast-track publishing life (working for pop artist Andy Warhol at Interview Magazine) and hitting the dharma trail in search of a meaningful life and spiritual wisdom. Hailed by Publisher's Weekly as "brave, beautiful, and brilliantly observed," Sex Death Enlightenment became an international best seller (published in 10 countries). Like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love and Paul Monette in Borrowed Time, Matousek takes the reader on an insightful, rollicking search for answers to life's deepest questions in this landmark memoir.

“Mark Matousek takes you everywhere his title promises – and then some. Sex Death Enlightenment is the most gripping and elegantly written memoir I’ve read in ages. It tugged me onward like the best suspense novel, though I couldn’t help lingering time and again to savor its wisdom.” —Armistead Maupin, author of Tales of the City

“An extraordinarily articulate chronicle of how the sickness of our time can spawn spiritual awakening and compassion.” —Ram Dass, author of Be Here Now and Grist For the Mill

“Brave, beautiful and brilliantly observed.” —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

The memoir of a former Catholic priest whose career as a union leader, search for spiritual meaning, and assisted suicide became the subject of a profile in the New York Times

The Priest Who Left His Religion follows the life of John Shields, a Catholic priest whose family prophesied would be the first American pope. Ordained as a Paulist in 1965, Shields quickly became caught up by the reversals of the Second Vatican Council, which attempted to undo many of the liberalizing movements of the Catholic Church. But he was most shocked by the Church’s disavowal of scientific evidence in order to “protect the faithful.” Shattered and brokenhearted by his discovery of the Church’s dishonesty, Shields left the priesthood to embark on a courageous journey from Catholicism to cosmic spirituality. Along the way, he embraced life in the secular world and developed a personal faith accepting the union of science and spirit.

“I love this book. It feels like a secret treasure bequeathed by Stephen Levine to be opened after his death—an overflowing vessel of insight, humor and literary genius. Animal Sutras may be the best book Stephen Levine ever wrote.” —Mirabai Starr, Wild Mercy

“Stephen was a profound healer of the heart, writer and meditation teacher. In Animal Sutras, his other gifts shine, as a wise poet-naturalist and Dharma storyteller-philosopher, offered here in a lyrical, quirky, playful, and inviting collection.” —Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart

For Stephen Levine, “animal-people” were his greatest teachers. So, at age seventy, he began collecting animal spirit stories and transcendent moments in nature from throughout his life—from the green snake who taught him to meditate as a boy to the generous hen whom predators would not harm, and many more. “Animals have a natural mindfulness,” Levine writes. “They know what they are doing. Humans, who are full of confusion and seldom wholly in touch with their mind/body, need encouragement and technique to live in the present.”

Stephen Levine (1937–2016) was an American poet, author, and spiritual teacher best known for his work, with his wife Ondrea, on death and dying. He is one of a generation of pioneering teachers who made Theravada Buddhism more widely available to students in the West. Like the writings of his colleague and close friend Ram Dass (formerly Richard Alpert), Levine’s work is also flavored by the devotional practices and teachings of the Hindu guru Neem Karoli Baba. Levine spent many years in the Southwest, including one tending a wildlife sanctuary in southern Arizona, and among the mountains of New Mexico, where Ondrea still lives. His many books include Who Dies?, A Year to Live, Unattended Sorrow, and Healing into Life and Death.

How I Found God in Everyone and Everywhere captures for a general audience the spiritual shift away from a God “up there” and “out there” and towards an immanent divine right here. It’s built around the personal journeys of a close-knit group of prominent contributors. Their spiritual visions of immanence, sometimes called “panentheism,” are serving as a path of spiritual return for a growing number of seekers today. Contributors include Deepak Chopra, Richard Rohr, Matthew Fox, Rupert Sheldrake, Cynthia Bourgeault, Ilia Delio, Keith Ward, John B. Cobb Jr., Loriliai Biernacki, Marjorie H. Suchocki, and Rabbi Bradley Shavid Artson.

A daughter’s search for her deceased mother brings her face to face with the gods, ghosts, and saints of Cuba. 

“My Mother in Havana lifts the veil between the living and the dead and makes believers of us all. This story of a mother's absence and a daughter's need is written with a lyricism that filled my heart with beauty while also making it ache for loved ones lost. This is a stunning debut.” —Lee Martin, author of the Pulitzer Prize Finalist, The Bright Forever

“I closed this book believing more than ever that the people we love, including the people we’ve been, never really leave us.” —Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful

“This book is a treasure-chest of wisdom and beauty and fun. Brother Paul’s delight in the world, and his gift for putting words to wonder, would make his old novice master Thomas Merton beam. Best of all, a deep sense of contentment and peace arises from these pages that can remind the monk in every one of us how we might choose to live.” —Pico Iyer, author of The Half Known Life: In Search of Paradise

A contemplative monk’s musings on living a “useless life.”

“Brother Paul bears witness of being keenly aware that every aspect of his monastic vocation has been carefully crafted to nurture and protect the contemplative way of life in which one is called to seek and to find and give oneself to God who is wholly poured out and given to us in the gift of life itself.” —James Finley, author of The Healing Path

In the spirit of Thomas Merton’s The Sign of Jonas come five decades of life at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky from the private journals of one of Merton’s former novices, Brother Paul Quenon.

Readers are introduced to multiple aspects—the inwards and outwards—of a monk’s life. Reflections, meditations, insights, and wanderings are mingled with outward experiences in nature, community, and sketches of monks—saintly, comical, or strange—poetic moments. Remarks are made on world events, seen from a local and momentary perspective, such as the war in Iraq, or the end of the war in Vietnam. Private discoveries of animal behavior, and magical locations for prayer are experienced with wonder. No daily chronology is followed, but entries are arranged from the 1970s to the 2000s according to the decade they occurred in, including the visit of the Dalai Lama and other occasions when this contemplative’s life has intersected with spiritual teachers outside the monastery. Overall, a multi-colored, diverse, and surprising display of what it is like to live “an enclosed life.”

One of the “10 Best Books of 2024” —Jim Higgins, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

A memoir for the bookish-inclined, using personal stories to demonstrate how books have a magical way to move a person from one stage of life to the next.

“This is a small gem of a book, tender, humble, loving.” —Mary Gordon

“Sweeney makes a charming companion, telling stories in joyful reflection.” —Jeff Deutsch, author of In Praise of Good Bookstores

Former bookseller, longtime publisher and author Jon M. Sweeney shows—with history and anecdotes centering around books such as Thoreau’s Journal, Tagore’s Gitanjali, Martin Buber’s Hasidic Tales, and Tolstoy’s Twenty-three Tales—what it means to be carried by a book. He explores the discovery that once accompanied finding books, and books finding us. He ponders the smell of an old volume, its heft, and why bibliophiles carry them around even without reading them. He demonstrates how and why there is magic and enchantment that takes place between people and books.

2024 WINNER Autobiography/Memoir Best Book Awards

“A wondrous, hopeful, heart-breaking witness to one of the darkest journeys imaginable… This will be one of those rare books that people re-read, think about, and encourage others to read.” —Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D, author, with Oprah Winfrey, of What Happened to You

“I love this book. I absolutely could not put it down. It is beautifully written and cuts to the very heart of life and love: The story of Havi’s short, beautiful life and early death from Tay-Sachs is harrowing, heartbreaking, uplifting, profound and sometimes funny. Havi will charm the socks off you.”—Anne Lamott

Life is unfolding as planned for Myra Sack and her husband Matt until their beautiful year-old daughter Havi is diagnosed with Tay-Sachs, a fatal neurodegenerative disease, and given only a year to live. Myra and Matt decide to celebrate Havi’s short life and vow to show her as much of the world as they can, surrounded by friends and family who relocate to be in Havi’s orbit. Tapping their Judaism, they transform Friday night Shabbats into birthday parties—“Shabbirthdays”—to replace the birthdays Havi will never have.

A daughter’s search for her deceased mother brings her face to face with the gods, ghosts, and saints of Cuba. 

“My Mother in Havana lifts the veil between the living and the dead and makes believers of us all. This story of a mother's absence and a daughter's need is written with a lyricism that filled my heart with beauty while also making it ache for loved ones lost. This is a stunning debut.” —Lee Martin, author of the Pulitzer Prize Finalist, The Bright Forever

“I closed this book believing more than ever that the people we love, including the people we’ve been, never really leave us.” —Maggie Smith, New York Times bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful

“This book is a treasure-chest of wisdom and beauty and fun. Brother Paul’s delight in the world, and his gift for putting words to wonder, would make his old novice master Thomas Merton beam. Best of all, a deep sense of contentment and peace arises from these pages that can remind the monk in every one of us how we might choose to live.” —Pico Iyer, author of The Half Known Life: In Search of Paradise

A contemplative monk’s musings on living a “useless life.”

“Brother Paul bears witness of being keenly aware that every aspect of his monastic vocation has been carefully crafted to nurture and protect the contemplative way of life in which one is called to seek and to find and give oneself to God who is wholly poured out and given to us in the gift of life itself.” —James Finley, author of The Healing Path

In the spirit of Thomas Merton’s The Sign of Jonas come five decades of life at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky from the private journals of one of Merton’s former novices, Brother Paul Quenon.

Readers are introduced to multiple aspects—the inwards and outwards—of a monk’s life. Reflections, meditations, insights, and wanderings are mingled with outward experiences in nature, community, and sketches of monks—saintly, comical, or strange—poetic moments. Remarks are made on world events, seen from a local and momentary perspective, such as the war in Iraq, or the end of the war in Vietnam. Private discoveries of animal behavior, and magical locations for prayer are experienced with wonder. No daily chronology is followed, but entries are arranged from the 1970s to the 2000s according to the decade they occurred in, including the visit of the Dalai Lama and other occasions when this contemplative’s life has intersected with spiritual teachers outside the monastery. Overall, a multi-colored, diverse, and surprising display of what it is like to live “an enclosed life.”

One of the “10 Best Books of 2024” —Jim Higgins, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

A memoir for the bookish-inclined, using personal stories to demonstrate how books have a magical way to move a person from one stage of life to the next.

“This is a small gem of a book, tender, humble, loving.” —Mary Gordon

“Sweeney makes a charming companion, telling stories in joyful reflection.” —Jeff Deutsch, author of In Praise of Good Bookstores

Former bookseller, longtime publisher and author Jon M. Sweeney shows—with history and anecdotes centering around books such as Thoreau’s Journal, Tagore’s Gitanjali, Martin Buber’s Hasidic Tales, and Tolstoy’s Twenty-three Tales—what it means to be carried by a book. He explores the discovery that once accompanied finding books, and books finding us. He ponders the smell of an old volume, its heft, and why bibliophiles carry them around even without reading them. He demonstrates how and why there is magic and enchantment that takes place between people and books.

Owsley and Me is a love story set against the background of the Psychedelic Revolution of the '60s. Owsley “Bear” Stanley met her in Berkeley in 1965, when LSD was still legal and he was the world's largest producer and distributor of LSD. Rhoney found herself working in an LSD laboratory, and the third corner in a love triangle. We all know the stories from the '60s—but never from the point of view of a woman finding her way through twisted trails of love, jealousy, and paranoia, all the while personally connecting to the most iconic events and people of her time.

Bear supported the Grateful Dead in their early years and gave away as much LSD as he sold—millions of hits. He designed and engineered the infamous Wall of Sound system of the early '70s, just before he began his two years in prison, with Rhoney raising their infant son. He died one year ago, but the era he helped create is now being rediscovered by a new generation interested in the meaning of it all.

Today Rhoney Stanley is a practicing holistic orthodontist in Woodstock, New York. This is her first book.

Tom Davis was an Emmy Award–winning American writer and comedian. He is best known for being one of the original writers for Saturday Night Live and for his former partnership with Al Franken, as half of the comedy duo “Franken & Davis.” His memoir Thirty-Nine Years of Short-Term Memory Loss: The Early Days of SNL from Someone Who Was There was published in 2010 by Grove Press.

Join “Scoop” Nisker on a wild ride from West to East and back in his quest for true self and enlightenment. Combining the best elements of memoir and social commentary, Nisker shares his own story to illuminate the spiritual hunger of modern America. His journey begins in Nebraska as the only young man in his small town to be Bar Mitzvah’ed, through the heyday of the Beats and hippies in the Bay Area from his vantage point as a high-profile newscaster, the birth of the environmental movement, and the social and spiritual blossoming of the West. This is a personal, guided tour of the outer and inner movements that joined together into today’s mindfulness movement, written by one of the leaders of both. 

Join “Scoop” Nisker on a wild ride from West to East and back in his quest for true self and enlightenment. Combining the best elements of memoir and social commentary, Nisker shares his own story to illuminate the spiritual hunger of modern America. His journey begins in Nebraska as the only young man in his small town to be Bar Mitzvah’ed, through the heyday of the Beats and hippies in the Bay Area from his vantage point as a high-profile newscaster, the birth of the environmental movement, and the social and spiritual blossoming of the West. This is a personal, guided tour of the outer and inner movements that joined together into today’s mindfulness movement, written by one of the leaders of both. 

A riveting story of how one brave and adventurous woman turned her life upside down for God. Firestone teaches us, through the joys and sorrows of her life, how our ancient traditions are calling out to us for renewal, and how, through faith, honesty, and struggle, we are learning to respond.

At age seventeen, Tirzah Firestone left the oppressive home of her Orthodox Jewish parents and set off on a spiritual odyssey. With Roots in Heaven is the story of that journey, a fascinating and moving account of her evolution from rebellious young seeker to renegade rabbi. This is an inspiring, true account of a courageous woman with strong convictions and a passion to know and feel God. It is also a book that goes beyond one person’s story of wandering and redemption to explore the dangers of modern religion and the joys and conflicts of intermarriage and raising interfaith children. An unforgettable story of love, sacrifice, and transformation–of grace sought and found–With Roots in Heaven offers hope, wisdom, and encouragement to anyone seeking deeper spiritual meaning in today’s world.

“Candid, intense, and compulsively readable, this is spiritual biography at its very best.” — Letty Cottin Pogrebin

A riveting story of how one brave and adventurous woman turned her life upside down for God. Firestone teaches us, through the joys and sorrows of her life, how our ancient traditions are calling out to us for renewal, and how, through faith, honesty, and struggle, we are learning to respond.

At age seventeen, Tirzah Firestone left the oppressive home of her Orthodox Jewish parents and set off on a spiritual odyssey. With Roots in Heaven is the story of that journey, a fascinating and moving account of her evolution from rebellious young seeker to renegade rabbi. This is an inspiring, true account of a courageous woman with strong convictions and a passion to know and feel God. It is also a book that goes beyond one person’s story of wandering and redemption to explore the dangers of modern religion and the joys and conflicts of intermarriage and raising interfaith children. An unforgettable story of love, sacrifice, and transformation–of grace sought and found–With Roots in Heaven offers hope, wisdom, and encouragement to anyone seeking deeper spiritual meaning in today’s world.