Family & Relationships

He Never Came Home is a collection of 22 personal essays written by girls and women who have been separated from their fathers by way of divorce, abandonment, or death. The contributors to this collection come from a wide range of different backgrounds in terms of race, socioeconomic status, religion, and geographic location. Their essays offer deep insights into the emotions related to losing one’s father, including sadness, indifference, anger, acceptance—and everything in between.

This book, edited by Essence magazine's West Coast editor Regina R. Robertson, is first and foremost an offering to young girls and women who have endured the loss of their fathers. But it also speaks to mothers who are raising girls without a father present, offering important perspective into their daughter's feelings and struggles.

The essays in He Never Came Home are organized into three categories: "Divorce," "Distant," and "Deceased." With essays by contributors such as Emmy Award–winning actress Regina King, fitness expert and New York Times best-selling author Gabby Reece, and television comedy writer Jenny Lee, this anthology illustrates the journey of the fatherless, and provides a space for these writers to express their pain, hope, and healing—minus any judgments and without apology.

As the judge starring on the hit nationally syndicated television show Divorce Court, Lynn Toler witnesses, en masse, the thematic mistakes made in American marriages. She herself has also been wed for 22 years and has seen both the highs and lows of matrimony in her own marriage as well as the marriages of those close to her. While the national divorce rate hovers around the 50% threshold, there is a lot of chatter that marriage as we know it is an outdated institution--that we are too selfish, too unwilling to make sacrifices, and too misguided by elevated expectations of happiness to make marriage work.

While these points may hold some validity, a lot of this chatter is nothing new. So what's causing so many divorces and, perhaps even more importantly, what are we to do about it if we want marriage to survive? Drawing from both her professional career and personal life, Toler sees that the biggest impediment to marriage these days is that couples decide to take the plunge based almost entirely on the most irrational criteria: falling in love.

Making Marriage Work doesn't suggest that love has nothing to do with marriage at all; rather, Toler says that love by itself is simply not enough to make marriages survive. This book is a logical and simple guide to reintroducing some of the practicality of marriage that has leaked out of it over the years.

Marriage, Toler says, is a job, and it needs to be treated like one. However, the makeup and consistency of this job has changed so much over the past few decades that the old rules no longer apply. Making Marriage Work is an updated manual to help get the job of marriage done right in this day and age. It suggests specific procedures that should be put in place to bridge the gap between head over heels and happily ever after. It explains how to phrase things in order to span the great hormonal divide men and women often fall into when trying to talk to one another. It also discusses the very new and real challenges to marriage created in a culture often overwhelmed by the emphasis on (and ability to attain) instant gratification.

Replete with simple, no-nonsense rules, Divorce Court anecdotes, and stories about Judge Toler's own union, Making Marriage Work contains invaluable information couples can use today to secure their marital tomorrow.