Humor

What if there's a hidden dimension to Donald Trump; a sensitive, poetic side? Driven by this question, Rob Sears began combing Trump's words for signs of poetry.

What he found was a revelation. By simply taking the 45th President of the United States' tweets and transcripts, cutting them up and reordering them, Sears unearthed a trove of beautiful verse that was just waiting to be discovered.

This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Trump's innermost thoughts and feelings on everything from the nature of truth, to what he hates about Lord Sugar. And it will reveal a hitherto hidden Donald, who may surprise and delight both students and critics alike.

Now with fifteen all-new poems as we lurch deeper into the Trump presidency, this timely publication also includes Sears' scholarly footnotes and introduction, in which he excavates new critical angles and insights into the President's poetry which the casual reader might initially overlook.

Waterstones - The Best books of 2022: Humour

Want to be a rocket-riding tech titan?
You've come to the right school.

Elon Musk's Billionaire School makes it simple to follow in Elon's footsteps and accumulate the wealth and power of a medium-sized nation in just 30 days.

Discover lessons drawn from the lives, philosophies and business practices of the alpha billionaires who are shaping humanity's future, including Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon himself.

It's the complete, foolproof resource for your billionaire's journey - from founding your first startup through to becoming High-God-Emperor of Mars.

Elon Musk's Billionaire School. Enroll today. Escape the planet tomorrow.

There are many ways civilisation could end, even with wise, benevolent leaders like Kim Jong-un, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin watching over us. Now, in this fun interactive story of global doom, YOU decide how humanity perishes.

Will we be turned to grey goo by Elon Musk’s nanobots?

Driven collectively insane by Russia’s most potent memes?

Or smashed to atoms by someone sitting on the wrong button in North Korea?

In this book, YOU will meet the leaders with the future of civilisation in their hands. And YOUR wits and judgement will decide how we all inevitably die. Or then again, maybe, just maybe, with a little positive thinking, YOU will find a way to keep us all safe long enough to expire of old age and global warming instead. Just don’t get too hopeful. On every page of Choose Your Own Apocalypse with Kim Jong-un & Friends, the end of your choice is most definitely nigh.

By following the White Man Commandments—namely, that winning justifies anything and everything—you too can achieve success beyond your capabilities.

With lessons on the value of shock and awe, putting compassion on the back-burner and pretending racism doesn’t exist, distinguished Professor of Modern White People Studies, Boulé Whytelaw, teaches you how to understand, overcome and overthrow the White Man in the whiter-shade-of-pale world of work.

10 mammoth cheeses, 9 people who died laughing, 8 remarkable pistol duels, 7 great sausage events and much, much more

The first and best compendium of facts weirder than fiction, of intriguing information and must-talk-about trivia has spawned many imitators - but none as addictive or successful.

For nearly three decades the editors researched curious facts, unusual statistics and the incredible stories behind them. The most entertaining and informative of these have been brought together in this edition.

Just who is the secret political adviser calling himself The Man in the Room Next Door? No one knows. We don’t even know his name.
But now the lid is about to be blown clean off, because the secret files of the world’s most influential* political media adviser are published in this book. Packed with letters, memos, texts, tweets, emails, journal entries, leaked documents, and crude doodles, these pages will reveal who The Man in the Room Next Door is, and, more importantly, his thoughts on those who employ his services, including Donald ‘dangerous puffin’ Trump, Boris ‘posh motorboat’ Johnson, and some of their least competent colleagues.
The Secret Political Adviser is the evidence that anyone can be a world leader. Just as long as they’re wearing the right earpiece.
*fictional

Toast on Toast is the must-have book for all budding actors - and non-actors too. In this part memoir, part 'how to act' manual, Steven Toast draws on his vast and varied experiences, providing the reader with an invaluable insight into his journey from school plays to RADA, and from 'It's a Right Royal Knockout' to the Colony Club.

Along the way, he reveals the secrets of his success. He discloses how to brush up on and expand your technical and vocal skills, how to nail a professional voiceover, and how to deal with difficult work experience staff in a recording studio. He also reveals the dangers of typecasting, describes the often ruthless struggle for 'top billing', and shares many awesome nuggets of advice.

The end result is a book that will inspire and educate anyone who wants to tread the floorboards. It will also inform (and entertain) anybody who simply wants to discover what a jobbing actor's life is actually like.

'"Why are we here?" The only time I ever asked meself that was on a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.'

Left to his own devices, Karl Pilkington would be happy with his life just as it is. But now he's hit forty, everyone keeps asking him why he's so reluctant to marry his girlfriend and why he doesn't want to have kids. It's time for Karl to face up to the biggest question of the lot - what does it all mean? Karl thought he'd seen it all filming An Idiot Abroad, but now he's off around the globe to learn how other cultures deal with life's big issues. Find out how Karl copes as he . . .

- Has plastic surgery in LA
- Models for a Japanese life drawing class
- Helps deliver a baby in Bali

Have his experiences changed him? Find out in this hilarious new book.

The nation's favourite idiot is back.

Safely home from his latest travels, Karl has decided it's time to share his hard-earned wisdom of the world.

Taking the Bucket List of '100 Things to Do Before You Die' as his starting point, Karl combines brilliant stories from his recent adventures to Alaska, Siberia and beyond with entertaining, highly opinionated views on what other people aspire to do with their lives.

� Why on earth would anybody want to run with the bulls in Pamplona?
� Go 'storm chasing' through Tornado Alley?
� Have lunch with the Queen?
� Or touch hands with the Pope?

The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad is a fitting finale to two years of eventful globe-trotting. Frank, funny and strangely inspiring, this is Karl's final word on travel.

The nation's favourite idiot is back. Safely home from his latest travels, Karl has decided it is time to share his hard-earned wisdom of the world.

Taking the Bucket List of '100 Things to Do Before You Die' as his starting point, Karl combines brilliant stories from his recent adventuresto Alaska, Siberia and beyond with entertaining, highly-opinionated views on what other people aspire to do with their lives.

� Why on earth would anybody want to run with the bulls in Pamplona?
� Go 'storm chasing' through Tornado Alley?
� Have lunch with the Queen?
� Or touch hands with the Pope?

The Further Adventures of An Idiot Abroad is a fitting finale to two years of eventful globe-trotting. Frank, funny and strangely inspiring, this is Karl's final word on travel.

Why did London Underground once employ a one-legged man to ride up and down the escalators at Earl's Court tube station? What did Hitler plan to do with Nelson's Column? Why is London's only medieval mummy a prostitute named Clarice la Claterballock? How did a beer flood in Tottenham Court Road drown nine people? Where can you see a pair of Queen Victoria's knickers?
Containing chapters covering London past and present; buildings and streets; famous and unexpected Londoners; arts, literature and crime; plus much much more, the 180 lists will amaze, amuse and inform. More than simply a keepsake for tourists, every self-respecting Londoner needs this book.

After going on a journey of discovery in The Moaning of Life, the enlightened one - otherwise known as Karl Pilkington - finds himself back on the road.

In his search for the answers to life's big questions, Karl has therapy in Tokyo to try and reduce the size of his head, spends time in California with a man and his five wives, tries his hand at painting with his own vomit in New York, and travels to Berlin to have his future predicted by a blind man, via his bum cheeks.

Will his travels around the world bring him any closer to the meaning of life? Find out in his hilarious new book.

In 2002, an amateur Jane Austen scholar, while staying at a Hertfordshire estate, stumbled upon a hidden cache of manuscript pages and made an extraordinary literary discovery - lost scenes from Jane Austen's novels that reveal an altogether different dimension to her oeuvre.

Pride and Prejudice's Bingley sisters appear as Sapphic seductresses; Mansfield Park's incest subtext becomes manifest; and Darcy gets more than his shirt wet.

This incisive parody of academic study is sure to astonish and delight mischievous Austenites.

Presenting the Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington: Adventurer. Philosopher. Idiot.

Karl Pilkington isn't keen on travelling. Given the choice, he'll go on holiday to Devon or Wales or, at a push, eat English food on a package holiday in Majorca. Which isn't exactly Michael Palin, is it? So what happened when he was convinced by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant to go on an epic adventure to see the Seven Wonders of the World?

Travel broadens the mind, right?
You'd think so...

Find out in Karl Pilkington's hilarious
travel diaries.

'He is a moron. A completely round, empty-headed, part-chimp
Manc.' RICKY GERVAIS

'He'd have been happier in medieval times in a village where
you didn't travel beyond the local community.' STEPHEN MERCHANT

Does a poet's heart beat under Donald Trump's brash exterior? This international bestseller rearranges his quotes and tweets into hilarious poetry. It's a new word order and the perfect present idea

What if there's a hidden dimension to Donald Trump; a sensitive, poetic side? Driven by this question, Rob Sears began combing Trump's words for signs of poetry.

What he found was a revelation. By simply taking the poetic POTUS' tweets and transcripts, cutting them up and reordering them, Sears unearthed a trove of beautiful verse that was just waiting to be discovered.

This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Trump's innermost thoughts and feelings on everything from the nature of truth, to what he hates about Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi. And it will reveal a hitherto hidden Donald, who may surprise and delight both students and critics alike.

Now with all-new poems! As we lurch deeper into life post-Trump and the impeachment era, this timely publication also includes Sears' scholarly footnotes and introduction, in which he excavates new critical angles and insights into the Poet-in-Chief's work which the casual reader might initially overlook.

Are immigrants taking our jobs, or are they all slobs?
What does 'I'm colourblind' mean and why does it make no sense?
And just how can you spot a Karen from a mile away?

This illustrated collection of verse tackles these issues and more. This is a delightfully caustic and refreshing book that will have readers thinking deeply and laughing out loud.

A personal message from the author:

Lots of individuals in society today are feeble-minded. They don't know what the HELL is going on. Unfortunately many of these people are responsible for running THE COUNTRY. They don't know the difference between a PRECIOUS JEWEL and a piece of animal turd. Their ideas are MEANINGLESS, illustrated using RUBBISH imagery (often made by a computer). The stupid words they write are always in BAD FONTS.
Yet still people HEED this nonsense. Maybe YOU are one of these people?
It's alright. I am here to HELP you. I have a FULLY-COMPOSED WORLD VIEW. I have STRONG opinions about EVERYTHING. And my ideas are HAND-ILLUSTRATED and use REAL HANDWRITING that you can trust. I know exactly what's going on and am WILLING to share my thoughts with you. If you LISTEN to what I say then things will quickly improve.

No more weak messages. No more bad situations. Shall we proceed?

A personal message from the author:

Lots of individuals in society today are feeble-minded. They don't know what the HELL is going on. Unfortunately many of these people are responsible for running THE COUNTRY. They don't know the difference between a PRECIOUS JEWEL and a piece of animal turd. Their ideas are MEANINGLESS, illustrated using RUBBISH imagery (often made by a computer). The stupid words they write are always in BAD FONTS.

Yet still people HEED this nonsense. Maybe YOU are one of these people?

It's alright. I am here to HELP you. I have a FULLY-COMPOSED WORLD VIEW. I have STRONG opinions about EVERYTHING. And my ideas are HAND-ILLUSTRATED and use REAL HANDWRITING that you can trust. I know exactly what's going on and am WILLING to share my thoughts with you. If you LISTEN to what I say then things will quickly improve.

No more weak messages. No more bad situations. Shall we proceed?

This is a PAPERBACK BOOK. And it is ram-jammed full of poems by KEY. Originally it was conceived and sold as a hardback book. Increasingly KEY has agitated for that brute to be superseded by something more chic; a slimmer, more athletic version that one can slide into a pocket or down a rugby sock. And now here it is.

Within its featherweight pages you will find the vast majority of the same poems as you'll find in its unwieldy predecessor. Poems skewering such thorny issues as sex, pancakes, footy and vodka. But, in order to drum up renewed interest, KEY has also added a new poem. And there are also seven new introductions. And KEY has also been allowed to waddle round the text with his Lamy fountain pen, altering and updating. Improving. Making everything just so. For this: THE PAPERBACK.